A Friend's Choice, Chapter One
by Boo1
Summary: Willow has something in common with Angel that Buffy doesn't like. And Willow's not crazy about it either.
1. Default Chapter Title

TITLE: A Friend's Choice, Chapter One Part One   
CATEGORY: Mystery/Drama/some Comedy  
RATED: PG-13  
CHARACTERS: The whole gang is here but Willow is the main character. Oh, and Spike makes an appearance or two.  
DISCLAIMER: Joss Whedon created and owns all the BTVS characters.  
SUMMARY: Willow has more in common with Angel than Buffy cares for. More than Willow cares for, too. Hopefully there's enough twists and turns in this to keep you guessing (even about the title) until the end.  
SEASON: Season Three, sometime after Amends.  
  
PART ONE  
  
"Wow, that's some thunderstorm," said Buffy, wrapping her arms around herself to keep warm. "Guess this bridge will have to do until it passes. Hope there's no trolls."  
"Trolls?," repeated Angel.  
"Well, this is Sunnydale. You never know."  
"You're shivering. Come here," said Angel, opening his coat. Buffy walked to him and hugged him. Angel closed the coat around her.  
"Better?"  
"Much," answered Buffy, snuggling her head against Angel's chest. "You know, maybe it'll keep raining and we'll just have to stay here awhile."  
"It was a rather dull night. Patrol wise, I mean," whispered Angel. Buffy looked up at him and they kissed. His lips were cold. Buffy didn't care.  
Their embrace was interrupted by a flash of lightning and an immediate, loud crack of thunder.  
"That was close," said Buffy, startled. She stepped up on her toes and kissed Angel again, her hands around his shoulders now. This time their kiss was ended by a scream. A very loud scream.  
"So was that!," said Angel. Then he noticed the very worried look on Buffy's face.  
"What?," asked Angel. But Buffy was already running from him, a stake appearing in her hand as she drew it from her windbreaker. Angel ran after her in the driving rain.  
Buffy stopped, frantically looking around her. It was too dark to see and whoever had screamed was silent now. She didn't want to call out and give her presence away. Not yet. Angel caught up to her. He could see in the dark better than her but the woods around them were empty.  
"The street lights are out. Must've lost power in the storm. See anything?," asked Angel, not looking at Buffy, his eyes moving from tree to tree.  
"No. Angel, I could swear that was Willow!"  
Angel glanced at Buffy and saw the concern in her eyes.  
"Why would she be out here, at this hour?"  
"I don't know! Let's split up. Yell if you see anything. Anything at all!"  
Before Buffy could move another flash of lightning turned the night into day. And then they both saw it, a figure running away from them, up a hill in the woods. They both ran even before the peal of thunder cracked above them. But they didn't get far.  
"Oh my god! No!," yelled Buffy, falling to her knees and dropping the stake in the mud.  
Willow lay on her back, her face ghastly white. Two puncture marks were ripped into her neck, though what little blood that seeped from the wound was quickly washed away by the rain.  
"Willow! Can you hear me?," screamed Buffy, raising her best friend's head in her arm. Willow's eyes were closed, her skin already cold. Angel knelt beside them and felt her neck for a pulse. His eyes grew wide as he looked at Buffy.  
"Okay, stay calm, she needs help. A phone! Where's the nearest phone?," pleaded Buffy.  
"I don't know. Maybe half a mile from here. Buffy, I don't think there's time."  
"Don't say that! It's Willow! She needs me! I need her," said Buffy, beginning to panic and fighting back tears. "Angel, do something! Please?"  
"Buffy, her pulse..."  
Buffy put her other arm under Willow's legs and picked her up. She looked around but wasn't sure where the road was. Another bolt of lightning exploded nearby, followed by thunder so loud Buffy felt the ground move under her feet.  
"Buffy, stop! There is something I can do. Listen to me! There isn't much time," said Angel, finally getting her attention. Buffy stared at him, expressionless.  
"There's something that you don't know about me. About the curse," explained Angel. Buffy's expression didn't change but from her eyes Angel understood that she was listening.  
"You know I haven't fed on a human since the curse. What you don't know is that if I did, if I made someone like me, then they would be cursed as well. It's part of my punishment. Do you understand? If I turned someone, they would retain their soul. Like me."  
Buffy's eyes grew wide as she comprehended the horror of what Angel had said. Of what he was suggesting he do.  
"Angel...I can't decide that. Oh god, don't make me decide. It's not fair."  
"Buffy, if Willow died of a car accident, or a heart attack, or something natural, an act of god, anything else...then I would never have even told you this. But Willow is going to die. There's nothing we can do to stop that. And she will die because of a vampire. Because we didn't protect her! Buffy, she wasn't supposed to die!"  
Buffy looked at Willow's face. Her mouth contorted as she fought back the tears. Angel was right. Willow died because it was their fault. Her fault. Buffy gently laid her friend, her best friend, on the cold ground.  
"Do it. Do it before I change my mind," said Buffy softly, her body shuddering with sobs.  
"Maybe you should...step away. Until it's over."  
"No! I want to be with her. She needs me. She needs me," cried Buffy.  
Angel knelt down on the other side of Willow. His face had already changed into the creature he was.  
"Even though she's lost a lot of blood, I still have to ingest some of hers. I hope this doesn't kill her," he said, not looking at Buffy. If he did look he wasn't sure if he could go through with this. Angel bit into Willow's neck. Buffy wanted to close her eyes but she couldn't.  
Angel withdrew from Willow, keeping his face away from Buffy. In one smooth motion he slid his coat up, exposing his left arm and pulled a small knife from where he had strapped it to his ankle. Wincing, he made a small but deep cut into his wrist. With his right hand he forced open Willow's mouth, letting his blood drip onto her tongue. Then he massaged her throat, letting his blood run into Willow's mouth as he did. Nothing happened.  
"Angel? Is she...," began Buffy.  
Suddenly Willow's eyes opened wide and she desperately tried to bite Angel's wrist, making sucking and slurping noises in the effort. Her eyelids closed again and her eyes rolled up into her head.  
Angel began to say something to Buffy, but didn't. He let Willow feed for a little while longer, then violently pulled his arm away. Willow sat up, bracing herself on her elbows. The whites of her eyes were now a bright red. She looked at Buffy but didn't seem to recognize her. Her head remained motionless but her eyes darted about, not focusing on any one object. Then Willow noticed that Angel was holding his wrist.  
Willow slowly raised two fingers to her lips. There was still blood on her mouth that the rain had not yet washed away, running down her chin. She stared at her fingers and tried to swallow but couldn't.  
"Angel?," said Willow, the tone of her voice asking so many questions.  
Suddenly Willow grabbed her stomach and rolled on her side, a whimper of pain escaping from deep in her throat.  
"Angel, what if you're wrong? What if she doesn't have a soul? Do you expect me to be able to stake her?," asked Buffy.  
"I know I'm right, Buffy. I can feel it."  
"But you've never done this before. Right?," she added, not sure anymore.  
"Trust me!"  
Willow rolled over, face down in the mud, holding her sides. She got her knees under her and slowly sat up. The rain quickly washed the mud from her face. Lightning flashed yet again, but this time the thunder was farther away. The storm was moving off. Another one was just starting.  
Even though Buffy knew what was happening she wasn't prepared for Willow's face. Her eyes were demon-yellow. Fangs protruded from her upper lip. Sadly, Willow herself seemed unaware of the transformation.  
"Buffy, what's wrong? What happened? Did something happen to Oz?," asked Willow quickly, getting worried.  
"Oh, Willow," said Buffy, amazed that she would think of someone else first before herself. But that was Willow. "I'm so sorry," Buffy said, putting a hand on Willow's shoulder.  
Willow noticed Buffy staring at her face. She touched a hand to her mouth, then quickly turned away from Buffy.  
"No," whispered Willow. "No," she repeated, shaking her head. Buffy put her arms around her shoulders.  
"Will, do you remember what happened? You were attacked. By a vampire. Angel and I, we found you here. Do you remember?"  
Willow looked past Buffy and glared at Angel.  
"I remember."  
Angel's face had morphed back to human again. He returned Willow's stare and didn't look away.  
"Willow, you died. We were too late. But there was something that I didn't know about Angel. About the curse!"  
Willow turned and faced Buffy but didn't speak.  
"It was my decision. Understand that. I made Angel do it. You would still have your soul. You'd still be Willow."  
"Who were you to play god? What about me? I don't have a say in this?," said Willow, angrily.  
"Will, there was no time to think. Put yourself in my place. What would you have done? I reacted. Maybe I was being selfish, but I couldn't say goodbye. I couldn't...lose you," cried Buffy, losing control, sobbing with her head in her hands.  
"Oh, Buffy. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It's me. It's still me!," cried Willow, hugging her friend. But Willow suddenly jumped back, gasping. Buffy looked up to see Willow staring at her neck. And understood what had happened.  
Buffy stood, ripping the cross from her neck and throwing it on the ground. She stepped on it, grinding it down into the mud.  
"I'm sorry! It's my fault!," screamed Buffy. "I'm supposed to protect you. But I didn't, I didn't. How can I ever make that up to you? How?," whimpered Buffy, trying to hold back her tears.  
Willow stood up but didn't make eye contact with Buffy.  
"What were you doing out here anyway?," demanded Buffy.  
Willow reached into her pocket and pulled out a vial of holy water, turning it over in her hand, staring at it.  
"You left it on the table in the library when you left. I thought you might've needed it...that you'd forgotten it. So that's what I died for, a damn bottle of water." Willow let the vial drop to the ground.  
"Guess it isn't safe for me to carry that around. It might break, you know. And I was careful. I was wearing a cross! She must've ripped it off of me before..." Willow touched her neck. "I was on my way home. Home! Oh my god, my parents. I can never go back there. I can never see them again!"  
Willow looked like she was about to fall so Angel caught her. Held her as she began to cry.  
"I'll take her to my place. She can stay with me," said Angel to Buffy.  
"Can I stay with you? Can I help?," asked Buffy, hopefully.  
"No. I know what she's going through, what will happen. You don't want to be there. She'll be in a lot of pain."  
"But...," began Buffy, not knowing what to say.  
"Tomorrow night. Don't come sooner than that."  
"Angel? How...how do I change my face back?," asked Willow, not looking up at him.  
"You can't. Not yet, I mean. Not until you've...had something to eat. Willow, I know you're scared, but I'll help you, okay? I promise I'll take care of you," said Angel, holding her tighter.  
Angel began walking, his arm around Willow. She kept her head down and let herself be led along. Buffy didn't move and didn't look at them.  
"Buffy, go to Giles. Tell him what happened," said Angel, a little louder than he wanted to.   
Buffy closed her eyes. She hadn't thought of Giles. What could she say to him? Or to Oz? Or Xander?  
"Buffy?"  
Willow's voice snapped Buffy out of her funk. Angel stopped walking.  
"Willow?"  
"Can you do something for me?"  
"Anything. Just name it, Will. Anything."  
"Talk to Oz. Tell him. But tell him I need to see him. Please?"  
Buffy nodded her head slowly. "I will. He'll be there."  
  
*****  
  
She could still hear the two boys on the other side of the hill, laughing as they walked away. Staring up at the branches of an oak tree, she knew she should be cold but somehow it didn't register. Her blouse was torn and she pulled at it, trying to cover herself. How long had it been raining? She couldn't remember.  
She sat up and smoothed her skirt down to her knees. And repeated the motion. Again. And again. And then she began to cry. Closing her eyes, she tried to fight back the tears and dug her hands into the ground on either side of her. Lightning lit the sky like a strobelight. She didn't hear the thunder but felt it as the ground shook.  
Not far from her left hand was an empty brandy bottle. Blackberry, she remembered. She picked it up and threw it. Hard. The glass shattered on a tree but made no sound. Lightning flashed again and something caught her eye. There, at the base of the tree. It wasn't glass.  
Still feeling lightheaded, she crawled over to the tree. The rain had cut a gully in the soil here. Reaching down, she pulled at the white stick she had seen. And then she realized what it was. If she was scared she didn't feel it. Again it just didn't seem to register. Even though no one else was around, out of habit she signed the word for why.  
The bony hand she now held had a ring on it. A class ring. From Sunnydale High. The numbers '19' were on one side of the stone, '76' on the other. She began to dig.  
  
*****  
  
She didn't remember how she got there, but Buffy found herself on Giles' doorstep, pushing the doorbell. It had stopped raining. She pushed the button again and Giles opened the door, wrapping a bathrobe around himself.   
"Buffy! What is it? What's wrong?"  
Buffy slowly raised her eyes, red and puffy from crying. Here hair was wet and flat on her face. As soon as her eyes met those of her Watcher's, she began to cry. Buffy fell to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably.   
"Buffy!"  
Giles knelt down and put his arms around her, rocking her back and forth.  
  
Giles stared at his cup of tea. He hadn't touched it.   
"I said to you once, not that long ago, that you must be so disappointed in me. Well, I'm saying it again," stated Buffy, staring at the floor.  
"And as I told you then, I repeat to you now. You'll have nothing but my support and my respect," countered Giles.  
Buffy smiled, if only briefly, grateful for his kind words. But she didn't look up.  
"I still don't know if what I did was right. Or if I'll ever know that it was. Do you think Willow can ever forgive me?," begged Buffy, finally looking at Giles.  
"Buffy, what you did was done out of compassion. It was done because of your love for Willow."  
"Some might say it was selfish, that I was thinking of myself and not her."  
"Do you really believe that?," asked Giles in a way that showed that he didn't believe it.  
"No. But I have different feelings about Angel than other people, including you. I see him as alive but cursed. It's sad but not his fault. I'm afraid no one is going to see Willow as alive but cursed, only dead and cursed. Because of me."  
"I think the others may blame Angel, not you. But there is another thing you have to consider," said Giles. Buffy listened, expressionless.  
"Willow has to mourn her own death. Her life will never be the same. You can think of her as alive, just different. But she can never go home again, see her parents, attend school. She shouldn't be seen by anyone she knows in Sunnydale. Other than you, and Oz and Xander, no one can know what became of her. Can you comprehend what she is facing?"  
Buffy didn't answer.   
"Willow will become another missing child, another statistic," added Giles.  
"I need to talk to her," said Buffy.  
"Tonight. Give her time with Angel. I think you need to talk to Oz first."  
Buffy sighed, lowering her head into her hands. What could she say to Oz?  
"You're wrong, Giles. I'll mourn for her. For as long as I'm the Slayer."  
Just then the doorbell rang.   
"Who could that be? It's almost dawn," said Giles, rising from his chair to answer the door.  
"Oz!," exclaimed Giles, truly surprised.  
"Did I wake you? Of course I did," said Oz, distractedly.  
"No, actually you didn't. Come in."  
"Sorry, but Willow's missing. She never came home last night. Her mother's worried sick. I went to the library but no one was there. I...Giles, what's wrong? Do you know something? Is Willow alright?," asked Oz. He still hadn't come into the room but stood in the doorway. Before Giles could answer, Buffy stood and spoke. Oz hadn't realized that she was even there.  
"Oz, come in. Please."  
He only took one step forward.  
"Buffy, you've been crying. What happened? Where's Willow?"  
Buffy ran to Oz and hugged him. He didn't return her embrace.  
"She's...dead, Oz. I'm so sorry." Buffy began to cry again. Giles turned and shut the door.  
"Buffy..."  
It was all Oz could say. His voice was so empty, so defenseless, so unlike Oz that it scared Buffy.  
"Oz, look at me. There's more you have to know," said Buffy, holding him at arm's length. "Look at me!," she repeated, shaking him by the shoulders. He made eye contact but didn't seem to be listening.  
"Oz, she was killed by a vampire. Do you understand what I'm saying? She's..."  
"No. This isn't real. It's not happening. I need to sit down. I think I'm going to be sick."  
Buffy helped him into a chair and knelt beside him.  
"Oz, Angel and I found her. She was almost dead. She had no pulse. But there's something I didn't know about Angel...about his curse. You see...if...if she became like him, if he was the one...she would still have her soul. We couldn't save her, there was no time. But...we...I told Angel to..."  
Oz stood up and glared down at Buffy.  
"My god! You didn't!"  
Buffy stood and returned his stare.  
"She was dead! We couldn't stop that! She's still Willow!"  
Buffy tried to touch Oz but he pulled away. She noticed that his right hand had formed into a fist.  
"If you want to hit me, do it. I won't fight back," said Buffy, softly. Oz seemed unsure of what to do.  
"Hit me, damn it!," screamed Buffy, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I won't stop you. I won't...Oz, please..."  
"Where is she?," asked Oz, relaxing his fist.  
"She's with Angel," answered Giles. Oz glanced at Giles but still glared at Buffy.  
"How could you? Just because you think there's nothing wrong with Angel you thought this is what she would want?," demanded Oz.  
"There was no time to think!," said Buffy, covering her eyes with her hands, sobbing. Finally realizing what this was doing to her, Oz stepped forward and held her. Buffy collapsed into his arms.  
"Oz, I'm so sorry. Forgive me. Please, I couldn't...I couldn't let her go. I couldn't..."  
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said..."  
Oz couldn't finish. He gave in to his own tears. Giles looked away, biting his lip.  
"Buffy, I need to see her."  
"Tonight. I promise," said Buffy, wiping her eyes. "She needs time alone with Angel. He said not to come until tonight. But she did ask for you. She wants to see you."  
Oz couldn't look at Buffy. He began to leave.  
"Oz, please stay. Just for a while," pleaded Buffy.  
Oz shook his head. Giles didn't stop him and he closed the door quietly as he left. Buffy exhaled deeply and looked at her Watcher.  
"I wish he had hit me. That pain I can understand."  
Giles could only nod in agreement.  
  
*****   
  
"Morning, Buffy. Late night? I didn't hear you come in. How about some coffee?"  
"Coffee sounds great, mom."  
"Buffy, do you feel alright?," asked Joyce, resisting an impulse to feel her daughter's forehead for a fever.  
"I didn't get much sleep last night. Mom...Willow's missing. She didn't come home last night."  
"Oh, no! Did you call her mother? She must be worried sick!"  
"Giles called her. We...don't know anything yet," lied Buffy. She felt bad lying to her mother but she wasn't ready to tell her the truth. Not yet.  
"Oh, Buffy. I'm sure she's okay. Try not to worry. You kids have been through a lot of tough times before. Things have a way of working out for you," reassured Joyce, trying to convince herself as well. She went to Buffy and hugged her. Buffy couldn't see the worry on her mother's face and her mother couldn't see Buffy fighting back her tears.  
"Yeah, maybe you're right," answered Buffy, flatly. "I'm not really hungry, mom. I think I'll take a shower and head off to the library."  
"Will Mr. Giles be there on a Saturday?"  
"Oh, I'm sure of it. Old habits and such."  
"I'll put on the news. Maybe..." Joyce stopped, startled to see the look of hopelessness in her daughter's eyes. She turned the television on anyway, if just so she had something to do.  
"Back to our breaking story. Local police, acting on an anonymous phone call, discovered the body of a teenaged girl early this morning near Miller's Woods."  
"Oh no!"  
"Mom, it's not her. It's not Willow."  
"How can you be sure?"  
"The body had been dug up by someone either during or just after last night's thunderstorm. Dental records will have to be used to make a positive identification as police say the body may have been there for twenty years or more. No personal items that may have aided in identifying the victim were found at the scene and details of what the victim was wearing are not being released at this time. Missing persons reports are now being consulted. For more on this we..."  
Joyce turned the television off.  
"I was there at about that time. We were...looking for Willow."  
"Buffy, how did you know that it wasn't Willow they found?"  
Just then the phone rang, making both women jump. Joyce picked up the phone before Buffy could.  
"Hello? Oh, Sheila! Buffy just told me about Willow. Have you heard anything yet?...Oh, I'm sorry. Try not to worry too much. She's a very responsible and resourceful girl...Yes, maybe that is good news...Of course we will. I'll tell Buffy. Thank you for calling and call me if there's anything I can do...Thank you. Goodbye."  
"If we hear anything, anything at all, I agreed that I would call her right away."  
"Good news? What good news?," asked Buffy, confused.  
"Oh, Sheila said that a mother of a friend of Willow called. I guess her daughter didn't come home last night either. She was hoping that maybe Willow and her went somewhere together, maybe got lost."  
Joyce Summers could tell by the expression on her daughter's face that she didn't think that was likely.  
"Buffy, are you not telling me something?"  
"What's her name?"  
"Ruth Stockman. Do you know her?," asked Joyce.  
"Yes. Nice person, although the kids at school make fun of her. Both because, well, you know, Ruth? That's someone's grandmother's name. But also because she's deaf and talks funny. Oh, you can understand her. Actually I think she's pretty amazing with how she can read lips and all the difficulties she has to face every day that we don't even think about..."  
"Buffy?," said Joyce, noticing how Buffy was staring, unfocused, at nothing.  
"Sorry. Just thinking about Will."  
Buffy turned and left the kitchen. Joyce noticed that she hadn't touched her coffee.  
  
End Of PART ONE  
  
PART TWO  
  
"Giles, what do we do now?," asked Buffy.  
"I've thought about that. For now, Willow should stay with Angel. He will be able to teach her things that she should know, perhaps little details about her everyday living that we don't even consider or take for granted. She's safest there, as well."  
Buffy nodded in agreement.   
"Meanwhile, we should concentrate our efforts on finding the vampire that did this to her. It would behoove us greatly to keep busy. Perhaps it would make this transition easier for everyone if we focused on a goal," stated Giles.  
"Good idea. Maybe Willow remembers more about her attacker now. I know she said it was a female vampire."  
"Good. It's a start, anyway," encouraged Giles. He looked around at all the shelves of books in the library, knowing they were useless until they had more clues to research about the identity of this vampire.  
"Yeah. It's going to be a long day. I want to see her so badly. I feel like running over there and knocking on Angel's door," said Buffy.  
  
*****  
  
Angel could no longer ignore the knocking on his door. He opened the door slightly, careful of letting the sunlight in, and peered out.  
"Xander! What are you doing here?"  
"Well, I'm not selling girl scout cookies. Can I come in or would you like to talk out here in the morning sun?"  
Angel opened the door and stepped back, not saying anything.  
"I'll take that as an invitation to come in then," said Xander.  
"What can I do for you? Make it quick, I need my beauty sleep," said Angel.  
"Okay. Have you seen Willow?"  
"No. Why are you asking me?"  
"Well, that's just it. I called her house this morning. Her mom said she never came home last night. She's big time wigged. She can't file a missing persons report for at least twenty four hours. Did you see her last night?"  
"No," lied Angel.  
"I called Buffy but she wasn't home. Mrs. Summers said Buffy knew that Will was missing. Why didn't someone call me? Giles wasn't home. I was heading to the library when I thought I'd stop here."  
"Xander...," began Angel.  
"Angel, do you know something? I can tell you're holding something back. What's going on?"  
"Xander."  
Willow's voice made both men turn around and look at her.  
"Willow!," yelled Xander, running over to her and hugging her. "Where have you been? You gotta call your mom, she's so worried about you!"  
Willow looked at Xander's neck as they embraced. She glanced at Angel and their eyes met. His stare, she knew, was a warning.  
"Xander!," said Willow, quickly pulling away from him. "Sit down. We need to talk."  
"I'll let you two be alone," said Angel, turning to leave.  
"No, Angel. Please stay. It's okay," said Willow.  
Willow took a seat across from Xander and Angel stood by the fireplace. Even though the mansion where Angel stayed was immense with cathedral ceilings, the room seemed small and claustrophobic to Willow.  
"We should sit apart. I'm fighting something right now," began Willow.  
"Oh. Coming down with a cold?," asked Xander. He glared at Angel, just realizing that he had been lied to.  
"No. No. Um...you know, I really wanted to wait until tonight to tell you. I thought I'd feel better by then."  
"Huh?"  
"Xander, you can't tell my mother that you saw me. You see, I can't go back there. Ever."  
"Willow! You're running away from home?"  
"Well, in a way, I guess I am. You see, I'm different now. And my mom just wouldn't understand."  
"Different? How?"  
"Well, I'm not like I was. Or, I mean, used to be. Yes, I'm the same in many ways, but..."  
"Willow. Are you..."  
"Yes?"  
"Do you like girls? Is that what you can't tell your mom? 'Cause, I mean, if you're a lesbian, maybe your mom will have a hard time with the idea at first, but you don't have to run away from home."  
Angel rolled his eyes. Willow just stared at Xander.  
"Huh? No. I'm not gay!"  
"Whew! Well, that's a relief. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But, whew!"  
"Okay, Jerry. Or are you Kramer? Let me try again. Xander, this involves Buffy," said Willow in a more serious tone.  
"Buffy's a lesbian?," asked Xander, glancing at Angel.  
"Xander! Let's start over."  
"Okay. That train of thought has left the station," said Xander, humbled.  
"Alright," continued Willow. "Why would you...oh, let's not even go there. You understand Angel's curse, what makes him different."  
"Yeah, he's dead but he has his soul, unlike the others like him yet who are unlike him. Yadda, yadda."  
"Again with the Jerry?," sighed Willow, staring at Xander. "Maybe I should just show you."  
"Show me? Show me what?," asked Xander, confused.  
Willow sighed again. And then her face changed. It was Xander's turn to stare.  
"Does that curl the hair on the back of your neck?," asked Willow.  
"That's not all it curled. And I don't mean my toes! Willow! No! What? I don't get it. Is this a joke? 'Cause I ain't laughing!"  
Willow closed her eyes. She looked like she was trying to remember something, concentrating very hard. Her face changed back to her human form.  
"Sorry. I didn't know how else to tell you, how to make you believe. I didn't want you to see me that way. It's easy to slip into that form but a lot harder to will it away."  
"How? How did this happen?," asked Xander, very shaken.  
"First, you have to believe me when I tell you that I'm still Willow. I still have my soul. You know I'd never do anything to hurt you," said Willow, getting upset. Xander didn't answer.  
"Buffy and I found her, Xander. Last night. She had been attacked by a vampire. We were too late to save her life. But what no one knew about me was that, because of my curse, if I made someone like me, they would retain their soul. It was Buffy's decision."  
"But you did it! How could you, knowing what your life, or non-life, is like?," asked Xander.  
"Would it be better if I was dead? If I was gone forever?," asked Willow softly.  
"No. I mean, I don't know! Oh, god! I can't handle this," said Xander, looking away from Willow. "Wait a minute! You're not Willow, you're that other Willow. From when Anya granted Cordelia's wish!"  
"No, Xander. I still have my soul, she didn't. Note the lack of leather clothing?," asked Willow. Xander slowly lowered his eyes, staring vacantly at the floor.  
"Xander, it's still me. And I'm going to need your help to get through this. Xander, you're still...I love you, Xander. You know that. Xander, please look at me," begged Willow.  
Xander looked at Willow and slowly stood. He looked very pale.  
"No, you're not...I'm sorry, I need some time to deal. This...this isn't..."   
Xander turned and ran from the room. Willow's faced morphed again as she began to cry. Angel left the room and she didn't even notice. She forced herself to stop crying and her face changed back. Willow gave herself a little smile. When she looked up again Angel handed her a mug.  
"Here, drink this. It will help. Trust me."  
"I don't suppose it's tea?," asked Willow, wiping her eyes. Angel smiled.  
Willow raised the cup to her lips and smelled the aroma of the warm liquid in it. Her face changed once again.  
"Is that always going to happen?," asked Willow, her shoulders drooping.  
"No, of course not. But it's hard to control sometimes, even for me. It can be the scent of the blood that sets it off, or being in pain, being angry, or even just noticing the shape of someone's neck. You don't have to be hungry with the bloodlust for it to happen. And you did well when Xander held you. I was impressed."  
Willow looked down at the floor.  
"What?," asked Angel.  
"Maybe I didn't look different, but I definitely had an urge. Some friend I am," pouted Willow.  
"That's only natural," smiled Angel. "You were great. Really."  
Willow half-smiled in appreciation of the compliment.  
"Just remember the lesson. That hunger is always there," warned Angel.  
Someone knocked at the door again.  
"That can't be Xander again, can it?," asked Angel. "This place is supposed to be vacant. Guess I'll have to put up a sign."  
Willow shrugged, drank from her cup, got up and walked into the next room. Angel opened the door as the knocking began again. He was surprised to see a tall, blonde haired girl with green eyes standing there. She seemed even more surprised to see him.  
"Hello. Is Willow here?"  
Angel could understand the girl but immediately recognized that she was deaf by the way she spoke.  
"Excuse me, but do I know you?"  
"No," she said and signed. "I'm a friend of Willow. My name is Ruth."  
"Oh. Hi. I'm Angel. How can I help you?"  
Ruth seemed surprised that she hadn't been invited in.  
"Can I speak to her?"  
"Willow's not here," lied Angel. "Why did you think she was?"  
"I know she's here," said Ruth, signing each word for emphasis. "You see, she and I have something in common."  
Not as much as you think, thought Angel to himself.  
"It's very important that I speak with her," continued Ruth. "Very important."  
"I'm sorry, but..." began Angel.  
"I have a jacket of hers. With it I was able to cast a locator spell. Now you know what I have in common with her and how I know she's here. Please, I need to speak with her."  
Angel hesitated, not sure of what to say. He didn't want a witch mad at him.  
"It's alright, Angel. Let her in."  
Angel opened the door and realized that Ruth couldn't have heard Willow.  
"Please, come in."  
"Thank you."  
"Willow! I went to your house. I couldn't phone first, of course," smiled Ruth. Willow returned her smile. "Your mother told me you were missing, so I borrowed this," said Ruth, handing a windbreaker to Willow. "She doesn't know that I took it. I used it to find you."  
"Wow! A locator spell. You've been studying," praised Willow. Ruth didn't smile.  
"Willow, what's going on? Why aren't you at home?"  
Willow held up one finger, signaling Ruth to wait.  
"Angel, can we..."  
"Be alone?," finished Angel. "I'll be in the next room." He nodded to Ruth as he left.  
"Ruth, this isn't easy for me. It's very complicated. But I'm running away from home. I don't expect you to understand, but I want you to promise me that you won't tell anyone that you saw me. Please? I need your help with this."  
Ruth sat down. Willow did not.   
"I'm not going to see you anymore?," asked Ruth, sadly.   
"No," answered Willow, signing one of the words that Ruth had taught her.  
"Want to talk about it?"  
"I can't. Not yet. I'm sorry," said Willow.  
"Willow, you know I'm here for you."  
"Thanks," signed Willow, not speaking this time.  
"I promise not to tell anyone. Besides being worried about you, I came her to tell you something. A secret. But I need to tell someone. I had no one else to talk to," said Ruth.  
"What is it? You know you can trust me."  
Ruth nodded.  
"Willow, last night...last night, I was...he tried to...well, you know."  
"Oh, Ruth! Oh, I'm so sorry! Are you...are you okay? Did he hurt you? Did you know him?," asked Willow, sitting down on the edge of Ruth's chair and putting her arm around her.   
"No, no. Nothing happened. He just scared me. And laughed. I haven't been home yet. My mother doesn't even think I should be seeing anyone yet, that I'm too young!"   
"Oh my god! You have to at least call her," said Willow.   
Ruth nodded. "You know, it's partly my fault. I got drunk."  
"Did you say no? Did you tell him to stop?," asked Willow, impatiently.  
"Yes, but..."  
"Well then, but nothing. No means no and stop means stop. It doesn't matter if you were drinking. Ruth, it's not your fault! You can't blame yourself."  
Ruth smiled at Willow, teary eyed. She signed thank you to Willow but didn't speak. Suddenly Willow turned away from her. She had gotten angry and had felt her face change. She didn't know if Ruth had seen what happened.  
"Willow, what's wrong?"  
Willow put a hand out and held up one finger.  
"Willow, I can't read your lips if I can't see your face."  
Willow kept her hand out and nodded.  
"C'mon, Will, get it together," said Willow out loud, knowing Ruth couldn't hear her. She closed her eyes. Hard. When she turned around Ruth's eyes grew wide. Ruth could see that Willow had been crying.  
"Sorry, I'm a little upset. I didn't want you to see me that way," said Willow, not intending the double meaning. "Ruth, you should go home. Your mother must be worried sick."  
"Yes, like yours must be."  
Willow looked down, not knowing what to say.  
"Ruth, I'm very flattered that you sought me out for something like this. But don't you have anyone else you can confide in?"  
Ruth shook her head sadly.   
"You know the other kids tease me. They don't even have to talk behind my back, if you know what I mean," said Ruth, attempting a joke. Willow only frowned.  
"It's so unfair. I don't bother anyone."  
"Oh, Ruth, if you need me, you know where I am. I'll be here for a few days, at least. Until I figure out what to do."  
"Willow, you're my only friend. Can't you tell me about it? You can't run away. You have everything going for you."  
"Soon. I'm just not ready yet. Please?," said Willow, signing again. Ruth nodded.  
"You can't tell anyone, Ruth."  
"You can trust me."  
"Ruth, who did this to you? Was it a boy at school?"  
Ruth's body tensed before she answered.  
"That's not important."  
"Not important? He might try to do this to another girl!," said Willow, trying to remain calm.  
"No. It wasn't like that. It's because it was me, not another girl."  
"But...," protested Willow.  
"No, Willow. There's other ways to handle this. I don't want anyone to know. There were two boys, not one. They're students at Sunnydale. School's hard enough without everyone knowing that I..."  
"Go on. Tell me. It'll help to tell me," comforted Willow, putting her hand on Ruth's arm.  
"There's more. Where I was...in the woods, I found something. I didn't know what it was at first. The rain had uncovered some of it. And then I began to dig. Willow, I found the skeleton of a girl, there, in the woods. She had been a student at Sunnydale."  
Ruth pulled on a chain that hung around her neck. From inside her sweater emerged a class ring.  
"Class of 1976."  
"Ruth!," exclaimed Willow.  
"In her backpack was her diary. And...her spellbook. Willow, she was killed because she was different. Like I was humiliated because I am different. Well, I'm not comparing what happened to me with what happened to her. But I believe things happen for a reason. I believe I was meant to find her."  
"Ruth, if she was a witch, it might not be safe to wear something of hers. You don't know how strong she was. You have to be careful with stuff like that," warned Willow.  
"Willow, how do you think I learned the locator spell so quickly? From her spellbook. Even so, it's not easy to cast. I had a feeling, no, more than a feeling, that she was helping me. And like I said, there are other ways to deal with those boys."  
"Ruth, slow down. You don't know much about the black arts yet. You could be getting involved in some really bad mojo."  
"I know. You and I have cast a few spells. As you learn, you grow. I'll go slowly at first. I was hoping that you'd help me," said Ruth, looking down for a moment, as if embarrassed to ask Willow a favor.  
Willow thought for a moment. She didn't want anyone to find out about her, especially Ruth, who had no friends. But everyone needs someone else.  
"Let me think about it. Come here tomorrow. We'll talk again," said Willow, smiling to try to lift Ruth's spirits.  
"Thank you," signed Ruth, giving Willow a hug. "I'd better go."  
"Make sure no one follows you tomorrow," said Willow.  
"And then maybe you'll confide in me. Willow, when you have friends you can face anything."  
"You know, you're right," agreed Willow.  
  
*****  
  
"The sun set twenty seconds ago! Anxious, much?," asked Willow.  
"Will, this has been the longest day of my life," said Buffy, dropping several bags and a box on the floor.  
"And longest night by the way you look. Did you get any sleep? And what's this? Christmas?"  
"Of course it's not Christmas. You're Jewish. And do I really look that bad?," asked Buffy, concerned.  
"No, I'm sorry. It's great to see you."  
"When you're depressed, what's the next best thing to chocolate? Shopping! I can't exactly get your stuff from your house. What would I tell your mom?," said Buffy, her lower lip quivering.  
"Ah, a guilt offering. Nice, in a pagan sorta way. But thanks, I really appreciate this," said Willow. Then she noticed Buffy looked upset.  
"Hey, no sad faces! You didn't kill me, a vampire did and we're going to find her and kick her ass! So, no pouty faces because, because I can top your pouty face. Not that I can see it for myself, you know, the mirror thing and all. We're just going to have to make the best of this. And with friends you can face anything. Besides, I've always been on the fence as to whether I should be a vegetarian or not, so now I am and I should really shut up so I'll stop talking now."  
Buffy shook her head and smiled. And hugged Willow.  
"You're still my Willow."  
"Uh, Buffy? The neck?"  
"Oh, right. Sorry," said Buffy, stepping back.  
"No, I'm sorry. But it's kinda like waving chocolate under my nose."  
"Hey, your face! You're doing great with the control and all," said Buffy, changing the subject.  
"Thanks. It's harder than I thought, though."  
Buffy and Willow looked at one another, not knowing what to say next.  
"Buffy, I don't want things to be weird between us. You don't need me to forgive you for what happened. I would have done the same thing. You're my best friend and nothing's going to change that. Ever. Thank you for...," said Willow, unable to finish as tears filled her eyes.  
"Oh, Will. How about a quick hug? Maybe you can close your eyes for the neck thing."  
Willow closed her eyes and held out her arms. They embraced.  
"Thank you, Willow. You don't know how much I needed to hear that. Okay, unhug."  
Buffy and Willow both sat down.  
"You're not just saying that? I did the right thing?," asked Buffy again.  
"No doubts, no questions. I would have done the same thing for you. Or to you. You know what I mean."  
"Thanks."  
"Buffy, is Oz coming?," asked Willow hopefully.  
"He'll be here. He's...I tried to call him today. No luck, he wasn't home. Will, he's doing the best he can. It's even harder for him, but I know that he'll be here."  
Willow nodded and put her hands to her face.  
"Hey, how do I look? For Oz, I mean. Angel helped me but, well, you know, no mirrors? Like a mirror would help me when I'm putting on makeup or combing my...I'm shutting up again," said Willow.  
"You're beautiful. Stop worrying," said Buffy, making Willow smile. "Giles will be here soon. I told him that I wanted some time alone with you first."   
"Good, I need to ask him something. But I don't know how to say it. To him, I mean," added Willow.  
"What is it? Your...nature is like Angel's and I know, well...stuff. Tell me."  
"Okay. If I'm the way I am because I'm under the same curse as Angel, then if Oz and I...um, well, you know. If we..."  
"Oh, right!"  
"Right. If we...will I lose my soul like Angel did?," asked Willow, lowering her voice.  
"I'm not sure anyone can answer that for certain. I guess it's better to assume that you would. Lose your soul. To be on the safe side. Sorry. Maybe we should ask Giles?"  
"No. No, let's let lying dogs sleep. And I don't suppose vampires can get pregnant? I mean, something that's dead can't create life, right?"  
"No. Just like Angel can't father a child," answered Buffy sadly.  
"Well, I guess without the happy I wouldn't have to worry about that anyway."  
"Hey, I haven't been able to find Xander!," said Buffy, changing the subject. "He's got to know about you. We have to tell him."  
"He does," said Angel, entering the room. "He was here today."  
Buffy looked back to Willow.  
"What happened?," asked Buffy.  
"He saw my pouty face," answered Willow. "I don't know if he's more mad or more upset or more scared. It didn't go well."  
Buffy exhaled, puffing out her cheeks.  
"Time. We all need time to adjust. Everyone's going to handle this in their own way and at their own pace," said Willow.  
Buffy nodded in agreement.  
"Hey."  
"Oz!," squealed Willow, getting up from her chair and taking a few steps towards him but then stopping, not sure of what his reaction would be. Oz smiled and ran to her, hugging her. Buffy smiled, stood and nodded to Angel. She slowly began backing out of the room.  
"You look great," said Oz, stepping back to admire her.  
"Yeah, for a dead girl," frowned Willow.  
Oz stopped smiling.  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to be so blunt about it," said Willow, interrupted when Buffy bumped into a table.  
"Buffy, you don't have to leave," said Oz.  
"No, you two need time alone," answered Buffy.  
"Buffy," said Oz, getting her attention. "You and I, we're cool. Okay? You too, Angel. In fact, I want to apologize for the way I acted. I was out of line."  
"Oh, no, Oz. You were so in line."  
"Hey, if you didn't do what you did, both of you, then Willow wouldn't be here. Understand?"  
"Thank you, Oz. It means a lot to me to hear that," said Buffy. Angel didn't say anything but nodded to Oz. "Still, Angel and I will give you some time," said Buffy, taking Angel's arm and leaving.  
"Sure you don't want to stay for the mushy stuff?," asked Oz.  
"There's mushy stuff?," asked Willow, excitedly.  
Buffy smiled and left the room.  
Oz reached out and held Willow's hands.  
"You're cold. Do you want a sweater or...oh," said Oz, embarrassed.  
"Duh!," responded Willow.  
"Willow, this is all new. For both of us. We have some tough times ahead of us. But, together, we'll work it out."  
"Thank you, Oz. I was so worried about us," said Willow, fighting back tears.  
"Hey, I'm not exactly human either, you know."  
"But that's only three nights a month. It's full time on my end," said Willow, letting go of his hands.  
"So we can't go to the beach anymore. With your fair skin you burned too easily anyway. You've helped me, I'm going to help you. Whatever it takes. You're...you're my Willow. I love you."  
"And I love you," smiled Willow. "Okay, girl, try not to get upset. Oh, emotions tend to get me all grrr."  
"Oh. Doesn't matter, you know. Not to me," said Oz.  
"You're incredible. You know, if Buffy and Angel can work this out then so can we."  
There was a knock at the door. Angel entered the room to answer it, followed by Buffy.  
"I'll get it. It's probably Giles," said Angel.  
"It is," replied Willow.  
Angel stopped and looked at her.  
"I can smell his cologne. Can't you? I assumed..."  
"No, I can't," said Angel.  
"You can't?," asked Willow, surprised. "He's carrying flowers, too."  
"Way to go, Will!," said Buffy.  
"Hi, Giles. Come on in," said Angel.  
"Thank you. Willow! How do...how are you doing?"  
"Good, thanks."  
"Oh, here, these are for you," said Giles, handing her a bouquet of flowers.   
"Oh, Giles, thank you! They're lovely."  
"Yes, um, chocolate didn't seem appropriate for the occasion," said Giles, making Willow smile.  
"Maybe not for her," chided Buffy. There was an awkward silence for a moment.  
"Okay. Everybody sit down. Except you, Angel. Those flowers need some water," said Buffy, taking charge.  
"Be right back," said Angel. He made eye contact with Oz and Oz walked out with him, out of earshot of the others.  
"About last night, what I did...," began Angel.  
"Hey, it's cool. I understand now. Last night I might've staked you. But not now. Thank you. I know what you did couldn't have been easy for you."  
"You have no idea," said Angel. They both looked at Willow but her back was to them. Buffy, however, noticed. And she realized that she hadn't thought about Angel's feelings and how he was coping with this. She had been too busy thinking of herself and Willow.  
"Okay, I think we should limit the number of people that know about Willow. Let's leave Cordelia out of this for now. So, except for Xander, everyone who knows is in this room now, except water boy. Right?," asked Buffy.  
"Uh, no. There's Ruth," said Willow after raising her hand.  
"Ruth?," repeated Buffy.  
"Yeah, Ruth. The deaf girl at school? She was here today," said Willow, putting up her hand again to stop Buffy from talking.  
"I'll give you the short version. I felt sorry for her, what with the other kids teasing her and being new because she transferred. We've become friends. She taught me how to sign a few words and expressions and I taught her a few spells."  
"Willow!," said Buffy in surprise.  
"Hey, she's good! I mean, she's strong and concentrates well. She just needs help pronouncing...okay, the short version. She found out from my mother that I was missing and used a locator spell to find me."  
"Locator spell? Isn't that rather advanced?," asked Giles.  
"Yes, it is. You see, last night she went out with a couple of boys. She must've been so flattered that someone asked her out. Oh, anyway, I guess they were drinking and they tried to take advantage of her. But nothing happened, she made them stop. Well, they left her alone, but she was so hurt and embarrassed. And after they left she found something. In the woods last night. Not far from where I was."  
"Go on, Will," said Buffy, realizing her friend was reliving last night.  
"She found the body of a girl. Maybe you saw it on the news this morning. I didn't."  
"Yes, I did. She was about your age. But she had been dead a very long time," commented Giles.  
"Yes, she had been a student at Sunnydale. Class of 1976."  
"How do you know that? The police said that there were no personal items found at the scene. That they would need dental records," said Giles.  
"Ruth found her class ring and a diary. And her spellbook," added Willow.  
"Spellbook?," asked Buffy.  
"Yep. She was a witch. That's how she found me. Ruth used a locator spell that was in the book."  
"Willow, I don't need to tell you...," began Giles.  
"No, you don't. I told her it wasn't safe. In fact, she's even wearing the class ring. But I made her promise to come see me tomorrow. I'll talk to her, see if I can get her to turn that stuff over to the police."  
"What was the girl's name?," asked Giles.  
"Name? I don't know. She didn't say," said Willow.  
"Ruth might not know either, even with her diary. Knowing a witch's name can be powerful in certain spells and protections. I doubt if her name was written in those books," said Giles.  
"What did you tell her about yourself, Willow?," asked Buffy.  
"That I was running away from home. I think I can trust her not to tell anyone. In fact, I pretty sure I'm her only friend," added Willow.  
"This day sucks," said Buffy.  
"There's more," warned Willow.   
"What?," asked Buffy, rolling her eyes.  
"Ruth wants to punish those boys using the spellbook."  
"Oh dear. Willow, you've got to stop her. Dealing in the black arts for someone so inexperienced..."  
"I'll talk to her, Giles," said Willow, interrupting him again. Giles didn't say anything but pushed his glasses further up on his nose.  
"Ruth didn't say who the boys were, did she?," asked Oz.  
"No. She wouldn't tell me," answered Willow. "Giles, we should go to the library, see what we can find out about this dead girl."  
"I will. Not we. It isn't safe for you to go there, Willow. Someone might see you," said Giles.  
"But I want to help. And I'm better at using the computer than any of you," argued Willow.  
"She's got you there," agreed Buffy.  
"Someone can be a lookout for me, let us know if anyone's coming," continued Willow.  
"I can do that," stated Oz.  
"Perhaps you're right. And I'd like to find out the identity of the vampire who bit Willow," said Giles.  
"On it," said Buffy. "Angel and I will go visit Willy. Maybe he knows something. We'll meet up with you later."  
  
*****  
  
"Hey Ed, why the long face?"  
"Oh, hi Victor. Just broke a mirror. You know, seven years of bad luck," said Ed. He was tending bar tonight at the Bronze and it was just getting busy.  
"Well, cheer up. It's not like you have to pay for it, right?"  
"Whatever. Victor, don't ask me for a beer, okay? There's too many people here already."  
"Ed, would I put you in that position?," asked Victor.  
Ed didn't reply but gave Victor a look that made it clear he meant it.  
"Alright, Ed. Maybe later, when it thins out. How 'bout a coke?"  
The bartender turned away to get the soda. That's when Victor noticed Ruth standing at the other end of the bar.  
"Hey, Ruth! Looking for another good time?," laughed Victor.  
Ruth turned her head and looked at him.  
"Maybe. What do you have in mind?," asked Ruth.  
"Hey, you can hear me? How...I thought you were deaf!," said Victor, pointing his finger at Ruth. Then he noticed his hand. The skin on his hand was shriveling and turning black.  
"I am. What's wrong, Victor? Something wrong with your hand?," asked Ruth, smiling. She laughed and walked away from the bar. Victor turned to follow her and bumped into Cordelia.  
"Excuse me! Walk much?," asked Cordelia, an edge to her voice. Victor didn't even seem to notice her. He was staring at his hands and his eyes were opened very wide. Cordelia had seen that look before.  
"Hey, what's wrong with you? I mean, apart from being a clumsy oaf?"  
Victor looked at Cordelia and held up his hands.  
"Can't you see!?," he yelled, turning and running through the door next to the bar that led to the restrooms.   
"Hey!," yelled Cordelia, following him. It was darker than usual back there and she didn't see anyone. Cordelia was about to knock on the men's room door when she noticed the door leading to the alley behind the Bronze slowly closing. Shaking her head, she pushed the door open and stepped out into the alley.  
It wasn't as dark here as it had been in the Bronze but what bothered her the most was the smell from the dumpster. The she heard the sound of a garbage can being knocked over, further up the alley and closer to the street. Cordelia wondered why there were garbage cans and a dumpster in the same area but quickly lost that thought as she worried about her hair being in place.  
"Hey! Where are you?," she called out as she walked towards the street. She almost tripped over the boy before she saw him.  
Victor was lying on his back, staring at his hands and moaning. Cordelia knelt down beside him.  
"Are you hurt? Should I get help?," asked Cordelia, not understanding what could be bothering him.  
"My hands. Can't you see!?," pleaded Victor. "The bones! The bones!"  
"There's nothing wrong with your hands! You must be hallucinating. Are you on drugs? Be honest, it may be they only way I can help you," said Cordelia.  
There were pieces of the broken mirror on the ground, spilled when Victor knocked over the garbage can. He saw his reflection in a large shard and saw the skin on his face begin to shrivel and turn black.  
"No!," yelled Victor, grabbing Cordelia's arm. "Help me!"  
Suddenly Victor grabbed at his chest with his right hand, gasping. He took two more labored breaths and then his head fell to the ground, eyes staring at nothing. He wasn't breathing. Cordelia leaned closer over him, not knowing what to do. Then she caught his reflection in the broken mirror.  
Cordelia was looking at a skeleton. The skull was bleached white as if it was very old, but one eyeball hung loose in its socket. Cordy glanced back at the boy, not comprehending what she had seen. When she looked back at the mirror all she saw was the dead boy. She stood and screamed.  
Cordelia began to run down the alley towards the street. She had only taken a few steps when she saw Ruth. Ruth was standing at the end of the alley, her arms crossed over her chest. And she was smiling. Cordelia only paused for a moment, then ran out of the alley, not looking back.  
  
End Of PART TWO  
  
  
  



	2. Default Chapter Title

Title: A Friend's Choice, Chapter One Part Two  
All disclaimers and stuff are in Chapter One Part One.  
  
PART THREE  
  
"Buffy, we have to talk about Willow."  
"I know, Angel. I should've said something before but, well, I guess I was too wrapped up in how I felt to think about your feelings. I'm sorry."  
"What? Oh, no, I mean..."  
"It's okay. I know you don't feel comfortable talking about how you feel, but I didn't consider what you were going through when you did...when I asked you to...I'm sorry, I was in too much pain."  
Buffy stopped walking to give Angel a hug. He smiled at her but she didn't see it.  
"You can't know how hard that was for me to do. It's been so long..."  
Buffy just looked into his eyes and let him talk.  
"And..."  
"Go on, Angel. And what?"  
"It was very scary as well. See, there's a part of me that enjoyed what I was doing to Willow. Enjoyed it a little too much."  
"Oh."  
"Understand?," asked Angel.  
"Yeah. Oh yeah," nodded Buffy.  
"Hey, what I wanted to say about Willow was that there's something wrong but I don't know what it is."  
"What do you mean?," asked Buffy, confused.  
"You know how long it takes a vampire to rise. How many nights have you sat around in a cemetery, waiting? It just doesn't happen that fast. And when you first awaken you're very confused and disorientated. Why was Willow different?," asked Angel with more concern in his voice than Buffy expected.  
"Maybe because she has her soul. Even you got your soul because of a curse. No one has ever been made the way she was."  
"I thought of that. But still, something just doesn't feel right about this. Hey, isn't that Cordelia?," asked Angel, seeing a girl running across the street ahead of them.  
"Cordelia!," yelled Buffy, not answering Angel but breaking into a full run after her. Angel followed but couldn't close the distance between Buffy and himself.  
"Cordelia, wait up! It's me!," yelled Buffy. "Hey!"  
Cordelia finally recognized Buffy's voice and stopped running. She turned to face Buffy and bent over, hands on her knees and trying to catch her breath.  
"Thank god! Buffy, I just saw..."  
"Okay, relax and breath. Then you can talk," said Buffy, putting a hand on her shoulder. Angel caught up to them but didn't say anything.  
"No time," said Cordelia, shaking her head. "Back at the Bronze, out back, in the alley. There's a boy. He's dead."  
Buffy glanced at Angel and gave him that 'not again' face.  
"Vampire?," asked Buffy.  
"No. He...this boy, he just ran outside, looking at his hands. He just fell down and died! And then I saw..."  
"Saw what? What happened?," asked Buffy.  
"There was a broken mirror on the ground. I saw his reflection in it. Buffy, I saw a skeleton! I didn't imagine it! It was real! But when I looked back at him, he was just...dead."  
Buffy didn't know what to say.  
"When I looked back into the mirror, his reflection was normal. But there was something else. Ruth was there."  
"Ruth?"  
"Yeah, you know, that new deaf girl who's also fashion impaired? I mean, where does she shop?"  
"Cordelia!," said Buffy.  
"What? Anyway, she was there, at the end of the alley, by the street. She was just standing there. Smiling!"  
Buffy and Angel looked at one another and said the same thought at the same time.  
"Giles."  
  
*****  
  
"Her name was Kathy Litke," said Willow, looking up from her computer. "It was in the local paper for a day or two. Missing girl, no leads, presumed a runaway. The police questioned a boy who was the last to see her alive the night before. He was considered a suspect by the press but there was no evidence of any crime."  
"When did this happen?," asked Giles. Oz was by the library door. He glanced back at Willow but kept his attention on the hall outside.  
"August, 1975. How sad. All this time and...and someone's coming," said Willow, standing up and walking towards the staircase that led to the back room of the library.  
"How..," began Giles.  
"It's Cordelia. I can smell her perfume."  
"She's right. She's with Buffy and Angel," said Oz, peering through the door. He walked away from the door and sat down at the computer Willow had been using as Angel walked in. He looked around and then made eye contact with Giles.  
"It's okay. We knew you were coming," said Giles. Angel turned and nodded to Buffy.  
"Giles, we got trouble. Again," said Buffy as she and Cordelia entered the room.  
"Oz! I'm so sorry about Willow and everything. Buffy was telling me that she's missing on the way over," said Cordelia.  
"Thanks," replied Oz.  
"Right. Well, now let's talk about me. Giles, I found a dead boy behind the Bronze and I think a witch is involved," said Cordelia.  
"What?," replied Giles.  
"That's the short version, but I think she's right," said Buffy. "We stopped there on the way over. The way I figure it, this boy either died of a heart attack or was frightened to death."  
"Why...," began Giles.  
"By the look on his face," interrupted Buffy. "Plus, Cordelia says she caught his reflection in a mirror and saw a skeleton. When she looked back he, and his reflection, was normal."  
"And before that he was staring at his hands. I asked him what was wrong but he just yelled 'can't you see?' and ran off."  
"And why do you think a witch is involved?," asked Giles.  
"There was this girl, Ruth. She was standing at the end of the alley. And she was smiling! Like it was some kind of joke!," answered Cordelia.  
"Giles, I know that Ruth could be a witch, but maybe I should go back to the Bronze. Talk to her," said Buffy.  
"Yes, perhaps you're right. But be careful. If she is a witch we don't know how powerful she is yet. Or why she might want this boy dead," said Giles, giving Buffy a look that said he knew why.  
"Angel, could you walk me home?," asked Cordelia, who grabbed his arm and began to walk towards the door.  
"I'll catch up with you later, Angel," said Buffy, knowing that he didn't have much say in the matter and knowing it was safer if someone was with Cordelia. Angel just shrugged his shoulders and led Cordelia out of the library. She put her head against him.  
"Where's...," began Buffy.  
"Up here," finished Willow. "I heard. Buffy, what if Ruth isn't the witch? She can't be learning magic that quickly, especially the black arts. And something like this is just not like her! What if she is possessed by the witch?"  
"Possessed?," repeated Buffy.  
"The dead girl that Ruth found. Her name was Kathy Litke. She was reported missing in the summer of 1975," said Giles.  
"And you think this dead boy was one of the two that were with Ruth last night? If Ruth is possessed, wouldn't the witch go after the person who killed her?," asked Buffy.  
"She probably will. After she gets revenge for Ruth," said Willow.  
"That means we have to find the other boy Ruth was with before she does," said Buffy.  
"And we don't even know who he is," said Oz.  
"I'm going back to the Bronze, see if I can find her. Maybe some people knew this boy and who he hung out with. Willow, get me Ruth's home address while I'm gone, okay?" said Buffy as she turned to leave. Willow nodded.  
"Be careful," warned Giles.  
"Oz, can you look that up on the computer for me? I need to go back to Angel's," said Willow.  
"You okay? Want me to come with?," asked Oz.  
"I'm fine. You stay. I'm just a little hungry," said Willow, embarrassed.  
  
*****  
  
"I'm not fine," said Willow out loud. "In fact, I'm getting a little pissed off. Hello, everyone. I'm dead, remember? Isn't anyone else interested in finding the bitch that did this to me?"  
Willow was keeping to the shadows of the buildings she passed and avoided the street whenever possible. She was mad enough to kick a rock or empty soda can along the way but still didn't want to be seen.  
"Let's see what our dear old friend Willy knows. Boy is he in for a surprise. Wait until he meets the new...Spike!"  
"Red! Well, well. What a pleasant surprise. For me, that is."  
"Damn. Wind must've been at my back," said Willow, softly.  
"What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?," said Spike, stepping out in front of Willow. "And at this time of night, no less!"  
"Cliche, much? You wouldn't believe me if I told you. And no, she's not here."  
"Huh? Who?," demanded Spike.  
"The Slayer. I see your eyes dancing around like a kid in a candy store," answered Willow, her hands on her hips.  
"Actually, not a bad analogy. So where you headed? Perhaps I'll join you."  
"Willy's."  
"Willy's? You! Do you know about his clientele? You wouldn't last five minutes in there. And you're not even old enough to order a drink!," laughed Spike.  
"I don't have to be twenty-one for what I crave," answered Willow. "Care to buy me a drink?," smiled Willow as she winked at him.  
"Nice try. I see what you're doing. Keep me talking, stall for time while you figure out a way to escape."  
"Spike, I'm not afraid of you."  
"What!? You watch your mouth you insolent tart! Do you know who you're speaking to? Why, I ought to..."  
"What? Bite me?," said Willow as she slowly walked up to Spike and placed a foot to either side of him. She seductively ran a finger along his cheek.  
"Maybe I'll bite you first," whispered Willow into Spike's ear.  
"Whoa! What's going on here?," asked Spike, taking a step back. "If any biting is going to occur, I'm the biter, you're the bitten. Understand?"  
"This is fun, Spike. Really. But I don't have the time right now," said Willow, grabbing Spike's chin and looking him directly in the eye.  
"Don't have the time! I'll show you..."  
Willow suddenly grabbed Spike by his shoulder, spun him around and slammed him face first into the wall behind them. She morphed into full vamp face.  
"Show me what? A good time? I thought Drusilla was the jealous type," sneered Willow.  
"Yikes! Red! You gotta warn someone when you're going to do that! You nearly scared me half to death!"  
"Spike, you're already dead," said Willow, letting go of her grip on him. "So, aren't you going to welcome me to the club?"  
"Well," said Spike, straightening his leather jacket, "this is a surprise. Does the Slayer know?"  
"Oh yeah. But let's talk about me. I'm new here but you know the talk on the street. Is there a new girl vamp in town, short blonde hair, about my height?"  
"She's the one who made you, right?," asked Spike, lighting up a cigarette.  
"Yep. And I'd like to introduce myself, say hello. If you know what I mean," said Willow as she removed the cigarette from Spike's lips and placed it between her own, taking a deep drag. She surprised herself by not coughing.  
"Doesn't ring a bell, but I'll ask around, maybe call in a few favors. Hmm, cat fight, eh? Might be fun."  
"I'd appreciate that. In fact, I might feel indebted to you. Now, about that drink," added Willow, sliding his smoke back between his lips.  
"You know, Red, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship," said Spike as he put his arm around her.  
"Again with the cliche?," commented Willow, letting her face turn human again.  
"Let's go visit Willy. By the way, where are you staying?," asked Spike as they began to walk.  
"Actually, I'm looking for a new haunt, pardon the pun. Got any room? Oh, right. Dru's the jealous type," smirked Willow.  
"And don't you forget it, missy! You don't want to be messing with her."  
"Still, what she doesn't know...," teased Willow, putting her hand on Spike's butt. Spike stopped walking and stared at Willow.  
"Oh, Red. You're something else!," laughed Spike.  
Up ahead someone was tossed out of a door. He landed hard on the street.  
"Another quiet night at Willy's," smiled Spike.  
"Xander!," yelled Willow. Xander looked up at Willow. He had a bloody nose and a bruise on his left cheek but didn't seem badly hurt. Still, he stood very slowly, holding his left side. Then he noticed Spike.  
"Xander, are you alright?," asked Willow, running to him. She tried to put a hand on his shoulder but he pulled away.  
"Don't touch me! I'm fine!," barked Xander.  
"What are you doing at Willy's, Xander? Besides getting tossed out on your arse, I mean?," laughed Spike.  
"Hanging with a new crowd already, Will? Showing your true colors?," hissed Xander, wiping a sleeve across his mouth.  
"Spike, let me handle this," said Willow, not taking her eyes off of Xander.  
"Aw, Red. Think of the fun!"  
"Spike!"  
"Okay, my sweet. Don't be long. You wouldn't want your drink to get cold. And I thought this was going to be a dull night," added Spike, blowing Xander a kiss as he entered Willy's.  
"My sweet!?," repeated Xander, shaking his head.  
"It's not what you think."  
"You don't want to know what I think," countered Xander.  
"Xander, what are you doing here? It's not safe for..."  
"For what? A human?," interrupted Xander. "But you fit right in, don't you!"  
"Xander, Spike doesn't know that I still have my soul. I'm using him to find out about the vampire who killed me," argued Willow.  
"Spike doesn't know? As much as I hate him, we both know that he has this innate ability to see through bullshit. Don't kid yourself. If he doesn't know yet he will soon. And are you blind or what? Angel killed you."  
"No! He didn't," yelled Willow. "Why are you doing this to me? Don't you think it's hard enough? Xander...," said Willow, her voice quivering. She took a step towards him but he pulled a cross out of his jacket and held it up between them. Willow gasped and turned her back to him so that he couldn't see the tears that were already beginning to roll down her cheeks.  
"You're not Willow. Willow is dead. The Willow I knew couldn't beat me up."  
"Xander, when we were five and you stole my Barbie I could beat you up."  
"Okay, bad example," replied Xander flatly.  
"And yes, I'm dead. The difference is this Willow wouldn't beat you up. Even though she could."  
"If it means anything to you, I'm looking for the vampire who killed my friend. My best friend. And I'm going to hunt it down and kill it or die trying."  
"She."  
"What?," asked Xander.  
"I said she. It was a female. Short blonde hair, about my height," answered Willow. She felt Xander lowering the cross. The silence between them became uncomfortable. Willow turned back to look at him. She tried to speak but began sobbing, not even trying to cover her face with her hands.  
"Xander, it's me. Willow," she said, touching a hand to her chest. "Deep down you know it is. Please, Xander, I can't do this alone. I can't. It hurts...please..."  
Willow held out her hand. Xander stared at it. He looked down at the ground and ran one hand through his hair.   
"I...I'm sorry, I just can't," said Xander. Not looking at Willow, he ran past her and out of the alley.  
Willow stepped closer to the brick wall behind her and put her cheek against it. It was cold to her touch. She closed her eyes and gave in to her tears, slamming her fist against the wall. Her body shook as she lost control. She didn't notice Spike standing in the doorway to Willy's bar. He took one last drag on his cigarette and threw it away. His face was expressionless as he watched her.  
  
*****  
  
"So Eddie, you knew the boy who was...who died out back tonight?," asked Buffy.  
"Yeah. Victor. Victor Miller. A trouble maker but really not a bad kid. He tried to get me to serve him beer just before...well, you know," said Ed, wiping down the bar with a rag.  
"Did he have many friends? I mean, they might not know."  
"Not really. No wait, there was one guy he hung with. Mike, something. Not hard to spot. He dyes his hair yellow. Didn't see him here tonight, though."  
"Thanks," said Buffy. She looked around the Bronze but there were only a few people left. The police and ambulance had already left and took the party atmosphere with them. Then Buffy noticed someone leaving. She had only just caught a glimpse of the girl's back but she thought it was Ruth. Buffy hurried to the door.  
There was no one on the street. Buffy hesitated, then ran to her right. She reached a side street and looked down it, just in time to see someone turn a corner less than a block ahead. She ran to catch up.  
The alley was still damp and muddy from a recent rain. Buffy saw the girl ahead of her and slowed to a fast walk.  
"Ruth!," called Buffy, immediately realizing how dumb that was, seeing that Ruth was deaf and was walking away from her. Surprisingly, Ruth stopped and looked back at Buffy.  
"Hey, you can hear me?," asked Buffy, loudly. Ruth ignored her and continued walking, disappearing around the next corner.  
"Hey! Wait up!," yelled Buffy. She had only taken two or three steps when a chill ran through her body. Even though it felt suddenly cold Buffy broke into a sweat. She stopped, bracing herself by putting a hand out against the wall next to her. Fear. Buffy realized that the thought of walking down that alley terrified her. She became aware of a presence, an evil, just around that corner. Where Ruth had gone.  
Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Every instinct in her told her to run, to get away from there as fast as she could. She made a fist and opened her eyes. Her body shaking, she forced herself to walk down the alley. One step, then, slowly, another. She couldn't remember feeling this afraid since...since she hid in her closet during a thunderstorm as a little girl. The total blackness of that small space. Why had she remembered that now?  
She reached the end of the alley. Her body was trembling. Buffy reached into her jacket and withdrew a stake but her hand was shaking so badly that she couldn't hold it. The stake slipped from her grasp and fell to the ground. Her eyes wide with fear, she bit her lower lip, drawing blood, and threw herself around the corner.  
The alley was empty. As suddenly as the fear had gripped her, it left. Buffy's blouse clung wet to her back. A momentary dizziness left her. Confused, she walked ahead. The alley emptied out into another street but there was no sign of Ruth. Shaking her head, Buffy walked back to retrieve her stake.   
Kneeling down, she grabbed the piece of wood and looked back the way she had come. There was only one set of footsteps in the mud, walking towards her. Her own. She stood and looked quickly over her shoulder. And began to wonder exactly what she was up against.  
  
*****  
  
"Willy, two shots of your best stuff. And none of that pig swill from the well. I'm in a good mood tonight and feel like celebrating!," said Spike.  
"Two shots?," asked Willy, glancing at Willow.  
"Yes, Willy. Two. Like I said, we're celebrating. Call it a coming out party. Oh, if you'll excuse me Red, there's a bloke over in that booth I have to talk to. About that friend you're looking for? I won't be long. Willy can keep you company 'til I get back."  
Willy poured out two glasses of a red liquid in front of Willow then set the bottle down behind him.  
"Hey, kiddo. What are you doing here? Aren't you one of the Slayer's friends?"  
"Yes, I am. But it's like Spike said; it's my coming out party."  
"You pulling my leg? 'Cause you don't look like you're in the celebrating mood," said Willy, placing both his hands on the bar.  
Willow took the shotglass in front of her, tilted her head back and knocked the drink down. It warmed her insides in a way that blood from Angel's butcher didn't.  
"Do I have to get all grrr to prove it to you?," asked Willow sadly.  
"No. Of course not. It's just that...well, I'm sorry that it happened. No offense intended. But...well, you know what I mean," said Willy.  
"Yes, I do. And thank you. I appreciate hearing that," replied Willow. Willy reached for the bottle and refilled her glass.  
"Here, this one's on the house."  
"Thanks. Willy, can I ask a favor of you?"  
"Sure, kid. Shoot."  
"You hear anything about a new girl vampire in town? Short blonde hair, about my height?," asked Willow.  
"Sorry. Doesn't sound familiar," he answered.  
"Willy?," said Willow, with just a little edge to her voice.  
"Hey, I'm being honest with you. She hasn't been in here yet, anyway. But I'll tell you what. I'll keep my ears open, check on the latest gossip. Check back with me in a night or two, okay?"  
"Thanks. That's nice of you," said Willow, smiling.  
Willy grabbed a rag and started cleaning out a glass, looking at Willow the whole time.  
"You're different."  
"Excuse me?," said Willow, looking around to see if anyone had overheard him.  
"You know what I mean."  
"Is it that obvious?," asked Willow softly.  
"Well, you didn't threaten or hit me when you asked for information. And vampires tend not to smile unless they're breaking someone's fingers. Hell, you're polite even! You remind me of..."  
"Angel."  
"Yeah, exactly," said Willy, putting the glass down. "Now why would that be?"  
"Think about it, Willy. Keep my secret. But think about it," said Willow, staring at him.  
"Oh, kiddo, say it ain't so!"  
"You're a good man, Willy. I don't care what people...what demons say about you."  
Willy tilted his head and looked at her.  
"Tell you what. You keep my secret and I'll keep yours," said Willy sincerely.  
Willow smiled.  
"Sorry to keep you, love. I might have some good news. But first, a toast. Welcome to the club," said Spike, raising his glass. Willow raised hers and clinked them together.  
"Only wish I had been your sire," added Spike. Willow didn't say anything to that and they both drained their glasses.  
"Type O negative. Not bad, Willy. How about one more for the road?," asked Spike, pushing his glass towards the bartender and throwing a ten dollar bill after it.  
"You're going already?," asked Willow.  
"'Fraid so, Red. But the good news is I might have a lead on that friend you're looking for. I'd take you there myself, but it's on the other side of town and this demon doesn't like strangers. In fact, he doesn't like his friends, either."  
"Oh."  
"Hey, don't sound so disappointed. We'll meet up here again tomorrow night."  
"Thanks," said Willow, clinking their glasses together one more time.  
Spike downed his drink and turned to go, but not before slapping Willow on her bottom. Startled, she jumped, but didn't say anything as he walked out. Spike never looked back.  
"Willy," whispered Willow. The bartender leaned closer to Willow's face.  
"There was a boy in here just before I walked in. He left rather quickly. He is...he was, a friend of mine," said Willow, keeping her voice low and putting her hand over Willy's. "Could you, in a subtle way, look in the direction of the creature that threw him out? Please?"  
Willy hesitated, then smiled. His eyes slowly looked towards a booth near the door. Now Willow smiled and glanced over her shoulder. When she looked back at Willy, her face had changed. She felt his hand tense under hers.  
"I like you, Willy. You ever need a favor, just name it. And don't worry. If I break anything, I'll pay for it."  
  
*****  
  
Xander stopped walking and looked around. He hadn't been paying attention to where he had been going and it took him a minute or two to realize where he was. His lower lip had begun to swell and he winced as he ran his finger over it. Even though he knew now where he was, Xander felt lost. Going to the library was an option, but somehow he didn't feel ready to face those people yet.  
He heard a low, bestial growl behind him and immediately knew what it was. Once heard it was never forgotten.  
"Willow, look, I'm sorry, but you shouldn't have followed me. And enough with the showing off. I know what you are," said Xander as he slowly turned around. And then he realized that it wasn't Willow.  
  
*****  
  
(Xander put the phone down gently and wondered why he was being so quiet. After all, Buffy wasn't going to wake up any time soon.  
"Xander, who was that?," asked Joyce. Xander looked at Buffy's mom, saw the dark circles under her eyes and how tired she was.  
"It was Giles. He wanted to know if there was any change in her condition."  
"Oh," replied Joyce flatly.  
"He thinks the fever isn't breaking because some kind of spell is affecting her as well," said Xander.  
Joyce didn't seem to hear Xander. She just sat there, staring at her daughter lying there in the hospital bed. She watched as the IV solution slowly dripped into Buffy's arm. Buffy looked like she was sleeping, but every so often her body twitched or her eyes darted beneath their lids. Or, even more frightening, Buffy would moan or mumble to herself.  
"Mrs. Summers, Giles thinks that he can find a cure for this. He just needs a little more time," said Xander, trying to be reassuring. Joyce nodded but didn't look at him.  
"Okay, time for me to assert my Y chromosomes," said Xander, raising his voice. "I'll make you a deal. If you go home for a few hours of sleep, I'll stay here and call you if there is any change. Anything at all. Then, when you get back, I'll get some sleep."  
Joyce finally looked at Xander but didn't say anything.  
"Please?," asked Xander, taking her hand in his. "It's what Buffy would want."  
"Okay," agreed Joyce. "Maybe just a couple hours of sleep. But call me if..."  
"If she so much as sneezes, I'll call. I promise," said Xander, standing and not letting go of her hand so that she wouldn't change her mind.  
"Thank you, Xander. I wonder if...no, I know Buffy knows what a good friend you are."  
Joyce took one last look at Buffy, walked over and kissed her on the forehead. Buffy's skin was warm and clammy with perspiration. Too warm, thought Joyce. She smiled at Xander and left.  
Xander took the seat that Joyce had vacated. He reached out and held his friend's hand.  
"Come on Buffy, snap out of it. Fight this thing. I know you can. We need you. I need you."  
Xander wasn't sure how long he sat like that but he became aware that someone else was in the room with him.  
"Angel!"  
"How is she?," asked Angel, not taking his eyes off of Buffy.  
"No change," answered Xander, slowly letting go of Buffy's hand. "Did you find the other one?"  
"No," replied Angel, shaking his head.   
"Nightmare demon. Giles said that they're pretty harmless as far as demons go. Keep to themselves. So did the one she killed do this to her or did its mate?," asked Xander.  
"We're not sure. I think it may be a combination. Saliva from the bite on her arm may have gotten into her bloodstream, allowing its mate to cast the spell," said Angel, still not taking his eyes from Buffy.  
"So what does it want? Revenge?," asked Xander, glancing at the bandage on Buffy's right forearm.  
"Most likely. Giles thinks that if she can survive the nightmare that this demon induces, it will accept defeat and move on. Almost like a code of honor, if you will. It's a test, a battle of wills."  
"Well, her nightmare can't be as bad as the one we're going through. Can it?," asked Xander. Angel didn't answer.)  
  
*****  
  
Xander staggered back up on his feet. He had been holding his own against this vampire, but how long had it been? Only minutes? It was getting hard for him to hold his arms up. The vampire stood just out of arms reach of him, smiling. Had it been toying with him all along or had he actually fought well? Xander pushed that thought out of his mind as he drew a stake from his jacket. His cross had been knocked from his hands almost as soon as the fight had started.  
"Come on, big boy. Let's finish this. You're beginning to bore me," yelled Xander, wiping blood out of his eye from a deep gash in his forehead. Though he had tried to sound brave, the vampire laughed at him. Xander's face fell when he realized why it had laughed. He felt the other vampire's presence behind him even before he heard it growl.  
"Fine. First you die, then you friend," screamed Xander, not looking behind him. He knew the only chance he had was to do the unexpected. So he charged the vampire in front of him, driving his shoulder into its chest. They both crashed to the ground.  
They rolled and Xander found himself on top of the creature. He gripped the stake tightly and drove it down hard at its chest. But the vampire caught his wrist and easily twisted the wood out of Xander's hand. Xander smashed his forehead down into his opponent's face, breaking its nose. The vampire screamed in pain as Xander got one more punch in. Then it grabbed Xander by the throat.  
Xander grabbed the vampire's wrist with both hands but couldn't pry free its grip. He was getting dizzy as he tried again to punch the vampire in the face, but he couldn't reach it. Just as his vision was fading to black, he felt himself being pulled free from behind. By the other vampire. It tossed him down hard and he landed on his back.  
The wind had been knocked out of him. He shook his head, trying to clear his vision. Gasping for air, Xander desperately looked around, trying to determine which way to run. What he saw confused him and shook his head again. The two vampires were fighting! The first vampire never had the chance to stand up and was being mercilessly kicked in the face and the ribs.  
Xander knew the fact that the vampire doing the kicking had red hair should mean something to him, but he was too groggy to understand. He tried to rise to one knee as the vampire on the ground was staked, exploding into dust. Xander felt sick to his stomach and knew he couldn't stand. He began to crawl away. And bumped into someone's legs.  
Xander looked up at this new threat. This girl's face looked familiar but he couldn't focus his vision.  
"Hey, Xander! Looks like your girl friends have to bail you out again," said Buffy.  
Xander looked up at Buffy and tried to stand. And collapsed face first on the ground.  
"Xander?," said Buffy.  
Willow walked over to Buffy and looked down at Xander.  
"Well, I guess we should drag his sorry ass back to Giles," said Willow, shaking her head. Her face was human again.  
"Wow. Feel the love!," said Buffy.  
"It's been a long night," answered Willow. Buffy bent down to pick up Xander.  
"No, let me," said Willow, putting a hand on Buffy's arm. She knelt down and lifted Xander up, throwing him over her shoulder.  
"It will be more humiliating this way when you tell him about it later," said Willow as she began walking away. Buffy stood there for a moment and gave her friend a strange look.  
"Hey. Wait up!"  
  
End Of PART THREE  
  
PART FOUR  
  
"Sorry, Xander. Try to hold still, I'm almost done. And keep that ice on your lip. It'll help keep the swelling down. Believe me, I know," advised Buffy as she dabbed a wet cloth to Xander's forehead. "The bleeding has stopped. Sorry we were so rough with you. I didn't realize that you had gotten beaten up so badly."  
"Not as bad as my male ego," mumbled Xander, making Buffy smile.  
"Oh, don't be that way. It was a good thing Willow came along when she did."  
Xander looked at Willow sitting across from him but when he made eye contact, she looked away. He couldn't tell if she had looked concerned or not.  
"It's good that we brought you to Giles'. It was closer than the library. Where were you going at this time of night?," asked Buffy.  
"Willy's."  
"That was smart," said Buffy sarcastically. "And you met Willow there, right?"  
"How did you know?," asked Willow.  
"Your clothes reek of cigarette smoke. I don't need your new sense of smell to figure that one out. Did you meet anyone?," asked Buffy, putting the cloth down.  
"No. She was alone," answered Xander. Buffy looked at him, surprised that he had answered for her.  
"Still, someone could have seen you, Willow," said Buffy.  
"Hey, I can take care of myself. I'm not going to hide under a rock for the rest of my unlife! I knew that you wouldn't have time to go there, so I went. Okay?," challenged Willow.  
"Yeah. Sorry. Did either of you learn anything?," asked Buffy, surprised at how defensive Willow had become.  
"Yeah. I'm not welcome there," replied Xander.  
"No, but Willy took a liking to me. I think he caught on pretty quickly that I wasn't your typical run of the mill vampire, but I think I can trust him with my secret. He told me to stop back in a day or two. Give him time to ask around about this new vampire."  
"Good. Will, can you finish touching him up? I need to get a bandage," asked Buffy, standing up.  
"Actually, Buffy, I'd better get going. It's going to be dawn soon and I have to get back to Angel's."  
"Willow, you're welcome to stay here if you'd like," offered Giles. "There's plenty of room."  
"Thanks, Giles, but Ruth said she might come back there today. I'd better be there," said Willow, standing. "And I need to get some sleep first."  
"I should be there if Ruth shows up," said Buffy.  
"That might not be a good idea, Buffy. She saw you last night, remember? I'll talk to her. We don't want to scare her off. And I'll be alright. She's not mad at me."  
"Okay. Hand me that first aid kit before you go," said Buffy.  
"That's alright, I'll get it," said Xander. He tried to stand up but had to hold on to Buffy for support.  
"Dizzy?," asked Buffy. Xander nodded. "Maybe we should get him to a doctor?" Buffy looked at Willow but she looked away.  
"Enough, already! What's up with you two?," demanded Buffy.  
"Nothing," said Willow and Xander at the same time.  
Buffy put her hands on her hips and first looked at Willow, then Xander.   
"Obviously we have some unresolved issues here. So let's start resolving! Now!"  
"Buffy, I think Xander needs more time," said Willow, still not looking at Xander.  
"No, I don't. I can accept what you are. I just can't accept why you are," said Xander. Buffy and Willow looked at one another, then at Xander as they realized what he was saying.  
"Oh. So it's me you're mad at," said Buffy calmly.  
"No. Not you. Angel," replied Xander, glaring at Buffy.  
"You leave him out of this! It was my decision. I made him do it. This is between you and me, Xander."  
"Xander, get down off your soap box," interrupted Willow. "You can accept me for what I am? Prove it! As far as I can tell, you want me dead. Or deader. Or...oh, you know what I mean! This is what I am now. I still want to be your friend. I need to be. I don't blame Buffy, or Angel, so you shouldn't. If you can't deal, then never see me again! Pretend I'm dead in the original, classic, six feet under and pushing up daisies sense."  
Willow turned and walked towards the door.  
"Willow, wait," said Buffy, running over to her.  
"Buffy, we've already covered the rules concerning my storming off. It's a solo act, remember?," whispered Willow.  
"Right. Sorry. I'll talk to you later." Willow nodded.  
"Sorry, Giles," said Willow.  
"No problem. I believe that's the appropriate expression. Get some rest," said Giles.  
Willow glared one last time at Xander before she left. Xander lowered his head and sat back down, head in his hands.  
"So, Giles, what exactly am I up against? A ghost or a witch?," asked Buffy.  
"I think we, not you, are up against both," corrected Giles.  
"You mean the ghost of a witch?," asked Buffy, sitting down.  
"Possibly. The spirit of Kathy Litke was disturbed and possessed Ruth. But it can't control her all the time. In fact, Ruth may not even be aware or remember what happens when Kathy has control. And she can't be in control all the time because it takes a lot of energy to cast these spells and Kathy must also expend energy during the possession."  
"But Kathy sought out Ruth because they have some common bond, right? I mean, they're both witches, Kathy was probably a loner like Ruth is, and they're both really pissed off at a boy or two," said Buffy. "It's not just because Ruth discovered the body that she became possessed?"  
"Yes, you're probably right," agreed Giles. This brought a smile to Buffy's face. "So even if Ruth shows up at Angel's, she may not be able to help us."  
"So how do we stop her?," asked Xander.  
"I don't know," said Giles, taking his glasses of and rubbing his eyes.  
"Why stop her?," asked Xander.  
"Huh?," said Buffy. "Have you been following the plot so far?"  
"Why not get her to help us? Convince Ruth that the vampire that killed Willow is a threat to her as well," suggested Xander. "At the very least she should lead us to the vampire responsible."  
Buffy hesitated, not sure if Xander meant Angel.  
"No. Not yet. Let's fight one battle at a time. But that's not a bad idea," said Buffy.  
"Giles, did Oz find the address of Victor's friend?," asked Buffy.  
"Yes. Why?," replied Giles.  
"Well, shouldn't we warn him?," asked Xander.  
"And tell him what? That a witch is hunting him down to kill him and sorry, but we don't know how to stop her? Oh, and have a nice day," finished Giles.  
"I see your point," said Xander. "I never was the brains of this operation, was I?," said Xander, dejected.  
"Xander, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."  
"It's okay, Giles. I understand."  
"Giles, what about the boy that was a suspect in Kathy Litke's murder? Did you learn his name?," asked Buffy. "He could be her next victim, too."  
"Doubtful. His name was George Hubbell. He died in a car accident in 1986," answered Giles.  
"Oh. So, what do we do next?," asked Buffy.  
"There may be a spell that I can use to get rid of Kathy's ghost, but I'll need Willow's help."  
"You mean an exorcism?," asked Xander.  
"No, actually it's in the family of binding spells. Exorcism is for demons. This is less strenuous than that. I'll need to do some more research on it first."  
"You still haven't explained what happened to me in that alley," said Buffy.  
"I'm not sure. The witch may have only made you see and feel what she wanted you to," said Giles. "Like an octopus releasing an ink cloud so that it can escape."  
"But the footprints! Or lack thereof," complained Buffy. Giles could only shrug.  
"Giles, how can this ghost witch be that powerful? It's been dead for over twenty years," said Xander.  
"Well, Ruth could be very powerful herself and not even know it yet. Some people have a gift for magic that they sometimes never discover or tap into. Kathy may be channeling that power for herself. Or...," began Giles.  
"Or?," repeated Xander.  
"The emotions of hate, anger and revenge are very strong emotions. There's a reason that they call it the black arts," explained Giles, staring at Xander.  
"I get it," said Xander, humbled. He looked down at his shoes. Buffy looked at Giles, then walked over and knelt down beside Xander. She took one of his hands in both of hers.  
"Hey. It's going to get better. I promise. This may sound lame, but you have to just take this one day at a time," said Buffy, softly.  
"Buffy, I feel like something's broke and I don't know how to fix it," said Xander, his voice tight with emotion.  
"I know. I know."  
"I went to call her today, like I always do. I actually dialed the first three numbers before I realized that she wouldn't be there. That she'll never be there again," said Xander, beginning to cry.  
"Xander, she's still here," comforted Buffy, hugging him. "It's going to be okay. Trust me," said Buffy, trying to convince herself and fighting back her own tears.  
  
*****  
  
"Giles! Giles, wake up!," yelled Angel, shaking the sleeping Giles by the shoulder.  
"What? Angel! What's wrong?," asked Giles, lifting his head from the kitchen table. "I must have dozed off."  
"Dozed off? If I wasn't able to sense your heartbeat, I would've thought you were dead," said Angel.  
"What time is it?," asked Giles, pushing his glasses to the bridge of his nose with one finger.  
"Just after two."  
"Two! In the afternoon! I've been asleep for over six hours!," complained Giles.  
"Giles, I don't think that you just fell asleep. I think the witch used a spell against you. Do you always fall asleep after drinking coffee?," asked Angel, pointing to a half empty cup on the table.  
"A spell? Why would...I'm supposed to be at your place, preparing a binding spell with Willow. Oh dear."  
"It's okay. I left her not too long ago. She was sleeping and Ruth hadn't shown up yet. I think we have time to get back there before she does. And even if we don't, she'll be there when we do," said Angel.  
"You should have called me on the telephone," said Giles, standing.  
"I tried to. You didn't answer."  
"And Xander isn't here. He must've left while I was out. I agree with you; that sleep wasn't natural. We should go to Willow. I'll have to finish researching that binding spell later."  
"Giles, there's something else. It involves Willow."  
"Willow?"  
"Yes. We don't have time to get into what you think about what I've done to her. But there might be something wrong," warned Angel.  
"Something wrong? With Willow?"  
"Yes. The process of how one becomes a vampire is...well, it was different with her. I have a bad feeling about it. More than just guilt. Maybe I'm wrong, but instinct tells me I'm not."  
"Angel, I cannot judge you. What you and Buffy did was done out of love for Willow. She never lost her soul. That may have something to do with why she seems different to you."  
"That's what Buffy said. But when we get time, we should research it. Just to be safe. Willow might not be what she appears to be," said Angel.  
"Are you worried that she'll lose her soul?," asked Giles.  
"No. I'm worried that she doesn't have one."  
"Why would you think...unless..."  
"Unless, what?," asked Angel.  
"Unless Ruth isn't the one possessed by the witch. Angel, how do you prove that someone doesn't have a soul?"  
  
*****  
  
"Ruth! Hi, come on in," said Willow, peering around the door to avoid the sunlight. She was discovering that even indirect sunlight made her tired.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you knocking. Angel must not be here," yawned Willow.  
"Did I wake you?," asked Ruth. "It's after two!"  
"Actually, yes, you did catch me napping. I didn't get much sleep last night."  
"Neither did I! That's why I'm late. I overslept and that's not like me at all."  
"No kidding," said Willow as she shut the door, knowing Ruth hadn't been able to read her lips just then.  
"Willow, I had the strangest night."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well, for one, the last thing I remember is going to the Bronze. The next thing I know I wake up in bed and it's the middle of the day!"  
"Please, sit down," offered Willow. "Has anything like this ever happened to you before?," asked Willow, sitting down on the sofa next to Ruth.  
"No. Never. My mother doesn't remember me coming in last night, either."  
Willow didn't say anything for a moment, carefully weighing what to say next.  
"Ruth, this is important. Are you still wearing that class ring that you found?"  
Ruth nodded. "Do you think..."  
"Ruth, I don't know what to think. Have you read a paper or listened to the news yet today?"  
"No. I came right here. Why?"  
"A boy died last night. At the Bronze. The police said the cause of death was probably a heart attack. Heart attack! He was eighteen years old!"  
"Was he a student at Sunnydale?," asked Ruth.  
"Yes. His name was Victor Miller. Did you know him?"  
Ruth gasped and put a hand over her mouth.  
"Ruth, was he one of the boys who was with you the other night?"  
"Yes. Willow, I had no idea. I didn't want to hurt him. Scare him, yes! But...oh my god!"  
"So you really don't know what happened to Victor?," asked Willow.  
"No! You don't think that I..."  
"No! Of course not! That's not what I meant," said Willow.  
"Then what..."  
"The ring. It's the ring. Somehow the ghost of that girl is involved but I don't know how. Ruth, why don't you give me the ring? Better safe than sorry," said Willow, placing her hand palm up to Ruth.  
Ruth nodded and reached for her neck. She was wearing two chains and pulled them both free from her blouse. On one chain was the ring. On the other was a silver cross. Willow snapped her hand away and jumped back.  
"Willow, what's wrong?," asked Ruth, concerned.  
"Uh, uh...static electricity! I got a shock. That's all."  
"I didn't feel anything," said Ruth suspiciously.  
"No? Well, then maybe I was right about that ring. Why don't you take it off and put it on the table over there," suggested Willow.  
Ruth didn't say or do anything at first. Finally, she lifted the chain over her head, slipped the ring off and tossed it onto the table.  
"Thanks. You know, maybe I'll do a little research. Maybe that girl was able to control you somehow because you wore her ring."  
"Maybe. Willow, is there something else? Something you're not telling me?," asked Ruth.  
"No, of course not. I'm just worried about you, that's all." This made Ruth smile.  
"Hey, did you get into trouble with your mom the other night?," asked Willow.  
"Not too bad. I told her I fell asleep at a party and that I was afraid to confess to her that I had been drinking. It's a little more intense than that, but we worked it out. We have a good relationship."  
"That's great. Really."  
"Willow, what are you going to do? Still going to run away?"  
"I don't know," shrugged Willow. "I still need some time. You won't tell anyone, will you?"  
"No. I promised. But I don't understand."  
"I know. And I'm sorry, but let's just say I'm in trouble. Big time. Maybe I'll be able to talk about it soon, but I'm just not ready yet."  
Willow was interrupted by a knock at the door. She stood, then smiled.  
"That must be Oz," said Willow, going to the door. She opened the door and let him in.  
"Willow, you shouldn't just open the door like that. You don't know who..."  
Willow put a finger to her lips. "I knew. What, you don't think I know the scent of my boyfriend?," said Willow, again smiling and giving Oz a peck on the cheek.  
"Oh. You have company," observed Oz.  
"Hi," said Ruth.  
"Hi," answered Oz.  
"Ruth, this is Oz. Oz, Ruth. Ruth, Oz is..."  
"Boyfriend. Figured that one out," said Ruth. "Hey, I should get going. Can I stop back later?"  
"Actually, I have something to do tonight. How about tomorrow?," offered Willow.  
"Tomorrow, then," said Ruth, walking to the door. Her cross still hung loose at her neck and Willow involuntarily stepped back as Ruth passed. Ruth gave her a strange look.  
"Nice to meet you, Oz."  
"Same," replied Oz.  
"Bye."  
"Bye, Ruth," said Willow as she closed the door. "Whew!"  
"Her cross bothered you that much?," asked Oz.  
"More than frogs do," said Willow glumly.  
"How did it go?," asked Oz.  
"She doesn't remember anything. The witch must be possessing her. And I got her to give me the ring!"  
"Great. Is that good?"  
"Yes! I know a simple binding spell. I can use it to trap the witch to that object. She won't be able to hurt Ruth. Or anyone else"  
"Can I help?," asked Oz.  
"No. In fact, I have to be alone. If someone else is in the room her spirit may be able to enter that person, rather than the ring. Give me about an hour. I don't want to waste any time."  
"Sounds good," said Oz, giving her a hug. "Uh, Willow?"  
"Yes?," said Willow, not letting go.  
"Are those the flowers that Giles gave you yesterday?," asked Oz, looking over Willow's shoulder. Willow turned and looked at the vase on the table next to the ring. The flowers were not only wilted but blackened as if they were rotting.  
"Oz, you'd better leave. And I better get started."  
  
*****  
  
The fish weren't biting but George didn't care. For a Saturday afternoon there were few people around. Even the old men that usually were around, drinking from bottles in brown paper bags, weren't here on the pier. Just George and two others. Word must've gotten around that the fish were scarce. The tide had just started to go out and the boats tied up in the channel shifted until they once again faced into the current.  
George closed his eyes and rested his head against a piling. He listened to the sounds of the harbor as the sun beat down warm against his face. A gull would call out, the water lapped up against the hull of the boats, the sound of rigging knocking against the mast as a boat rocked on the water...George began to feel sleepy.  
He wasn't sure when he first noticed it, but it had gotten very quiet. A chill ran through him as a cloud passed in front of the sun. George opened his eyes and became very confused. He couldn't hear anything. Looking around, everything seemed the same. The was a woman on the pier that wasn't here before. She seemed to be looking at him. In fact, now that she smiled, George was sure of it.  
Now the old man near him was staring at him. George tried to ask him a question and began to panic as he realized he couldn't speak! He tried again but couldn't make a sound. The old man gave him a dirty look and resumed fishing. George screamed at him but he never looked in George's direction. No sound came from his mouth!  
George felt dizzy and rested against the piling for balance. He broke out in a cold sweat. He looked for the woman again and saw her leaving. She had crossed the railroad tracks that ran between the pier and an old warehouse and had almost reached the corner of the unpainted wooden building. He ran after her.  
Stumbling once or twice, he crossed the tracks and reached the corner of the warehouse. She was gone! Very confused and frightened now, George tried one more time to yell. He couldn't hear himself speak. He touched his throat and walked back a few steps. It didn't make sense. He stepped back a few more steps and caught the old man out of the corner of his eye. He was waving at him, maybe even yelling. But George couldn't hear him.  
George felt a vibration under his feet. It was growing stronger. Glad to have at least one of his senses working, he slowly turned around. No one heard him scream as the train rammed into him.  
  
*****  
  
Angel burst through the door and threw his cloak, still smoldering, to the floor. Giles stumbled in right behind him.   
"Willow!," yelled Angel.  
Willow sat in the middle of a red circle on the floor. Her eyes were closed, trance-like, both hands palm down on the floor. A single candle burned in front of her, trailing green smoke. There were other objects on the floor that Angel couldn't see clearly enough to know for sure what they were. Chicken bones, a ring, possibly some feathers and sand.  
"Willow!," repeated Angel, but she didn't seem to hear him. Or chose not to respond. Angel ran to her, kicking the objects out of the circle. The candle suddenly burned brighter, then ominously went out. Willow's eyes flew open.  
"Angel! What...," said Willow. She seemed unsure of where she was.  
"I'm sorry, Willow. I had to stop you. We weren't sure what you were doing," said Angel, towering over her. Willow just stared at him, her mouth open in shock.  
"Are you nuts!? Do you know what you just did!?," screamed Willow, rising to her feet.  
"Uh, no. Not exactly. But you're going to tell me?"  
"I was almost done with the binding ritual. You've ruined it! Do you realize the danger you've put us in?," yelled Willow.  
"Uh..."  
"The spell is broken," said Willow, lowering her voice and looking very upset. "Not only can we not bind the witch now, but she's aware that we know about her. That we know her true name."  
Angel looked down at the circle on the floor, then glanced at Giles. Willow's tone became very menacing, catching both men's attention.  
"That's my blood on the floor. So not only does she know who I am, but what I am. What the hell were you thinking!?," screamed Willow, pushing Angel in the chest.  
"It would be safe to assume that the other boy is safe. For now. The witch will undoubtedly go after Willow next," warned Giles.  
"Uh...," began Angel. Willow threw her hands up in the air and walked away from him.  
"This may sound very hollow now, Willow, but, we're sorry. We thought that Kathy's spirit may have possessed you," offered Giles.  
"Me? Giles, that doesn't make any sense. I was nowhere near the Bronze last night! You thought I killed that boy? How, exactly, could I have accomplished that?"  
"Uh...," began Giles.  
"Why would either of you suspect me?," asked Willow.  
"You're different," stated Angel.  
"Huh?"  
"It's how you became a vampire. It's just not, well...normal."  
"Normal? What the hell is normal about being a vampire!?," yelled Willow.  
"Willow, calm down. All Angel is saying is that at almost the same moment you were turned, Kathy's spirit was unleashed. We were only trying to consider all the possibilities," said Giles.  
Willow just stared at him, speechless. She looked at Angel, then covered her eyes with one hand, shaking her head.  
"Hey." Oz had made his entrance. Willow spread two fingers apart to look at him. No one else spoke. Oz surveyed the room.  
"This may not be a good time, but I think the witch just claimed another victim," said Oz, still looking around the room.  
"What?," asked Giles.  
"On the radio. A sophomore at Sunnydale was just hit and killed by a train," explained Oz. "The train was only going ten miles per hour but couldn't stop in time."  
"That's strange. But why do you think the witch...," began Giles.  
"A witness told police that just before the accident, this boy was acting very strangely, like he couldn't hear or talk. The witness shouted at him that a train was approaching, but he never reacted. The victim's name was George Hubbell. Junior."  
"George Hubbell's son," said Giles, slowly shaking his head as he made the connection. "The witch got her revenge after all."  
"They released the victim's name already?," asked Angel.  
"No. I know a detective on the force. Made a phone call. I get his son concert tickets from time to time," explained Oz.   
"I suppose you think I'm responsible for that, too!," screamed Willow as she stormed from the room.  
"Uh...," said Angel and Giles at the same time.  
"Okay. Someone want to explain to me what's going on here?," asked Oz.  
  
*****  
  
(Willow's breathing was fast and labored. Her face was damp with beads of sweat. Her eyes were closed but she looked up towards the ceiling. She moved her lips but didn't speak the words. The air in the room was thick with burning incense and smoke from several candles.  
Giles reached out and held her hands. She grasped them willingly and lowered her head until her chin rested on her neck. Willow's breathing became shallower and faster.  
She gritted her teeth as if in pain and squeezed Giles' hands tightly. Very tightly.  
Suddenly she let go of Giles' hands and covered her face with her hands. She took two deep breaths and opened her eyes but didn't look at him.   
"I'm sorry, Giles. I can't do it. I can't help Buffy. Whatever this demon did to her, a healing spell won't help. At least not mine. It's stronger than me."  
Giles put a cold, wet cloth to Willow's forehead and held it there.   
"Willow, you did your best. It was a valiant effort."  
"Thank you," whispered Willow, giving Giles a sad little half-smile. "Giles, what do we do now?"  
"I don't know. I just don't know," said Giles, lowering the cloth. Willow picked up Buffy's ring from the floor where it had been, next to the candle.  
"I'm going to try again," said Willow.  
"Willow...," was all Giles said before he saw the look on Willow's face. She was exhausted, but she wouldn't take no for an answer.  
"Maybe in a few minutes, then. At least have something to drink," begged Giles. Willow sighed but nodded in agreement.)  
  
End Of PART FOUR  
  
  
  



	3. Default Chapter Title

Title: A Friend's Choice - Chapter Two  
All disclaimers and stuff are in Chapter One.  
  
NOTE - I'm having trouble uploading Chapter One. You might want to wait to read that first before you read this. I get a successful upload message but I can't find the fic!  
  
PART FIVE  
  
Willow stood motionless behind the trunk of an old tree. Across the street was the place she had called home for as long as she could remember. There were no lights on and she was tempted to walk over there. Just to touch the doorknob, maybe look into a window. Very tempted. She promised herself that she wouldn't cry. Her lower lip was quivering but she had kept her word. Willow closed her eyes.  
"You can come out now, Buffy. I know you're there."  
The bushes in the yard behind Willow rustled and Buffy emerged, brushing off her jacket. Frowning, she walked up to Willow and put a hand on her shoulder.  
"It's my lilac scented shampoo, isn't it?," asked Buffy.  
"That, and the fact that you're nervous. Oh, your heart beat is a little faster than normal."   
Buffy opened her eyes wide at hearing that.  
"Honestly, Buffy, sometimes I don't know how you sneak up on vampires."  
"Will, you shouldn't be here. Someone might see you."  
"I know. But it's late. I just wanted to look. One last time," said Willow, staring across the street.  
"Okay, if we don't get going soon, I'm going to start crying," hinted Buffy. "Now, this is a really bad analogy, but being here is like being hungry and watching your neighbor cook a steak on a grill in his backyard."  
"Except I don't eat steak anymore."  
"Well, imagine a really juicy, rare steak," added Buffy. Willow looked at her friend and smiled, but with only one side of her mouth.  
"Hey, I said it was a bad analogy."  
"I get the point. Oh. Get the point. Steak. I made a funny!," smiled Willow. It was Buffy's turn to pout.  
"Well, I thought it was humorous," complained Willow. "And why are you following me?"  
"Well...I...I'm worried about you, that's all. And so is Oz. You didn't talk to him before you left tonight."  
"Buffy, I know you worry but I don't want you distracted. That's not good. And I'll talk to Oz later. I was a little upset before."  
Buffy tugged at Willow's arm and they started walking, being careful to avoid the streetlight.  
"Upset? That's putting it mildly. Angel told me what happened. He's really sorry, you know."  
"Well, he should be. What were those two thinking? That I was Ursula the bad witch all of a sudden? Oh, let's not talk about it. What's done is done."  
They walked a little further, not saying anything.  
"Buffy, I don't want to go back to Angel's. I need to find my own place. And it's not just about what happened. You two need your time alone, too. I'm the third wheel."  
"Will, it's too soon. Okay, we'll think of something, maybe start looking. But I'll feel so much better knowing you're safe there. How about spending a few days with Giles?"  
"No. I don't want to be a burden."  
"Burden!," said Buffy as she stopped walking. "You're not a burden! You're family."  
Willow suddenly grabbed Buffy and pulled her behind a bush. A car approached and drove past them.  
"Willow, you're like my sister. Now more than ever. That's it! Mom. I'll tell her everything. You'll stay with us!"  
"Buffy, no."  
"Yes, it's perfect! She knows what I am. She'll understand what's happened to you. Willow, you'll be safe there. You don't want me distracted? I can protect you there. Please?"  
"Oh, not the puppy dog eyes. That's not fair!"  
Willow knew she wouldn't win this argument. A smile slowly spread across her face.  
"Thanks, sis," said Willow, hugging Buffy.  
"Come on. Let's go home. I've got some 'splaining to do."  
"Okay, but I have to stop at Willy's first. Real quick," said Willow. Buffy hesitated, not sure what to say.  
"Want me to come with?"  
"No. You're not popular with that crowd. Don't take it personally. It must be that Slayer thing. I'm sure if you gave them the chance to get to know you...okay, shutting up now."  
"Be careful. I'll patrol for a while and meet up with you in about an hour. At Angel's?"  
Willow nodded.  
"Buffy, what will you do if you find Ruth? She's dangerous, but she's not responsible for what she's doing. We can't hurt her."  
"I don't know. Hopefully Giles will figure something out soon."  
They began walking again. Across the street, about a block away, was a parked car. Inside, the driver sat with her hand holding the key in the ignition. She was afraid to even breathe, afraid to make a noise that someone might hear. The two girls were far away but not far enough from her that Cordelia didn't recognize them.  
"Willow? What's going on here?"  
  
*****  
  
"Willy, what's up? You seem distracted. In fact, I might even use the word nervous," said Willow, sitting on a stool at Willy's bar.  
"Me? Nervous? Not at all. I'm just...busy. Yeah, that's it. Busy."  
"Willy, there's only three...well, not people, let's say patrons, in here tonight. And that's counting me. Are all your Saturday nights this busy?"  
"It's early," replied Willy, not looking at Willow.  
"Willy."  
Willy looked at Willow and sighed but still didn't say anything.  
"You know, you have me at a disadvantage. Because you know I'd never hurt you for information," said Willow, trying on a menacing face that only made Willy smile.  
"Kiddo, I like you. And I can't say that about many of my...patrons. Remember, you didn't hear this from me."  
Willow nodded and leaned a little closer to him so that he wouldn't have to speak too loudly.  
"There was a girl in here tonight. Human, I think. Tall, blonde hair, green eyes. And she talked kinda funny."  
"Did she tell you her name?," asked Willow, although she already knew it.  
"Said it was Kathy."   
Willow opened her eyes wide at hearing that.  
"There was something, I don't know, different about her. Everyone in the bar picked up on it right away. That's why they all cleared out. In a hurry."  
"They were afraid of her?," asked Willow, concerned.  
Willy shrugged. "She left about an hour ago."   
"And?," asked Willow.  
"She was asking if I had seen a young, red-haired vampire. I told her no, of course. Then she just nodded and left. You in trouble, kiddo?"  
"Not yet."  
"Oh, I almost forgot. Spike left a message for you. He said he couldn't make it tonight, that you'd understand."  
"Yeah. Dru wouldn't let him come out to play."  
"How's that?," asked Willy.  
"Nothing."  
"Sorry I wasn't straight with you before. That girl, she just spooked me, I guess. I'll still ask around about that other vampire for you, okay?"  
"Thanks, Willy. Guess there's no sense in me sitting here all alone like some skanky...oh, never mind. See ya."  
Willow stepped out into the night. Something, a movement, caught her eye down the street to her left.  
"Ruth?," whispered Willow, breaking into a run. She slowed down as she reached the corner. Whoever had been here had turned here. Willow tensed.  
"Oh, no," said Willow out loud. Slowly she turned around.  
"Willow? It is you!"  
"Cordelia."  
"You're alive!"  
"Well, I'm here," said Willow.  
"I don't get it. What's going on?," asked Cordelia.  
"Shh," warned Willow, putting a finger to her lips and walking towards Cordelia. "Do you know where you are? It's not safe for you in this neighborhood."  
"It's alright. See, I have a cross," said Cordelia, pulling a large wooden cross out of her jacket and holding it up. Willow jumped back.  
"Put that away! If someone around here sees that they...they might get upset. Like a bull with a red flag. Get it?"  
"Someone like a vampire, you mean," said Cordelia.  
"Yes! Cordelia, please, you're in danger by being here."  
"And you're not?"  
"I'll explain everything later. In fact, Angel knows the whole story. So does Buffy. Why don't you go back to Angel's and wait for me there?"  
"Oh, right. And get everyone mad at me for leaving you here all alone? I don't think so," said Cordelia, taking a step towards Willow. Willow jumped back again.  
"Hey, what's with you?," asked Cordelia. "Wait a minute. You...you're afraid of this," said Cordelia, holding up the cross again. Willow frowned and took another step back. She was almost at the corner where she had been standing and she glanced behind her.  
"Cordy, it's not what you think. Well, okay, maybe it is. I'm a creature of the night, I guess."  
"You're a prostitute?"  
"What? No! Uh, think of Angel, but in a skirt."  
"Huh? He might be color challenged in his choice of clothes, maybe drab even. But in a skirt? Ew! That's just kinky."  
"No, silly! Me. I'm like him," said Willow.  
"Oh. Oh! You mean you still have your..."  
"Yes! Look, you really have to go. Find Buffy. She's patrolling somewhere, I don't know where. But if you can find her, tell her I think I've found Kathy. You and me, we'll talk later. Okay?"  
"I don't know, Willow."  
"Do I have to get all fangy to convince you?," demanded Willow.  
"Just leaving!," smiled Cordelia, turning around and walking away. "Angel in a skirt? Ew!"  
"Oh, so sorry you're dead, Willow. Tough break. Have a nice day!," said Willow to herself, shaking her head.  
Willow turned and walked back to the corner. Without hesitating she walked past it and turned right. And entered a dead end. There was a fire escape ladder to her left but it was too high off the ground to reach. That only left the dumpster.  
She stood there for a minute and knew something was wrong. It only took a few more seconds to understand what it was.  
"Xander, come out of there!"  
The lid of the dumpster lifted up an inch or so. Two eyes peered out for a moment and then Xander tossed the lid back and sat up.  
"Let me guess. It was my cologne. No, wait. I don't wear cologne. Shampoo?," offered Xander.  
Willow shook her head.  
"Mouth wash?"  
Willow shook her head and smiled.  
"Brand of toothpaste?"  
Another shake of the head.  
"Oh come on, Will! I use deodorant!," complained Xander.  
"Xander, you could never play hide and seek. I always found you. You were either too loud, too clumsy or too obvious in your choice of hiding place."  
"Oh yeah, what about that time I hid from you for a whole hour. I hid in the neighbor's...garbage can," said Xander, looking at his present surroundings.  
"You cheated! I knew where you were but I had called my yard only. I was mad and let you stay in there."  
"You were mad! You should've heard my mother complain about how my clothes smelled. And if I remember right, it was a hot day."  
"Yes it was," smiled Willow. "Now get out of there."  
Xander sheepishly stood and jumped out of the dumpster. And landed in a muddy puddle, splashing Willow.  
"Xander!"  
Xander looked up and couldn't keep from laughing.  
"It's not funny!," complained Willow.  
"No, it isn't," said Xander, still laughing. "Come here."  
He started brushing off Willow's jacket, still laughing. She couldn't help herself and started laughing too.  
"Xander, I think you splashed some on my face. Could you...a little help, please? Indulge a girl's vanity. I have this problem lately with mirrors."  
"Hey, you've got something on your nose. Let me get it," said Xander, stepping very close to her. He touched her nose with his thumb and let his hand rest on Willow's cheek. Xander looked into her eyes. There are moments when two people who have known each other for many years can express themselves without having to speak.  
"Oh wow. Willow, do you remember that time you had ice cream on your nose?"  
"Oh yeah. We almost had our first kiss. We never did talk about that."  
Willow felt his hand begin to tremble on her face.  
"Willow, I'm so sorry. I've been such a jerk," said Xander, hugging her and unable to hold back his tears. He couldn't see the big smile on Willow's face as she fought back her own tears.  
"It's okay, Xander. Everything's going to be alright now. I have my Xander back," she whispered to him, returning his hug gladly.  
"I've missed you so much," he said softly.  
"Me too," answered Willow, a tear rolling down her cheek. It was then that she noticed the manhole cover to the side of the dumpster. And understood where Ruth had gone.  
"Xander, I need you to do something for me," said Willow, pulling away from him and wiping the tears from her face. Xander didn't wipe the tears from his face and didn't care that Willow saw them.  
"Go find Buffy. I don't know where she is but she said she'd be at Angel's in less than an hour. Tell her where I am. Tell her I think Ruth is in the area. I'm going to look for her."  
"Willow! Maybe I should stay with you."  
"No. I'll be fine. I can't walk you there, I have to start looking. So run. And be careful. Okay?"  
"Willow, I...we'll be back soon. Be careful," said Xander. He looked at her and then gave her a quick kiss on the lips.  
When he was gone Willow lifted the iron manhole cover and slid it to one side. She peered down into the darkness, looked back once over her shoulder and then disappeared into the blackness of where Ruth had gone.  
  
*****  
  
("Giles, Buffy knew she was very sick, hurting big time. Maybe even near death. Did it bother you than she came to me instead of you?," asked Angel.  
Giles took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. They both knew he was only doing this to stall for time. He didn't want to answer the question. He put his glasses and looked at the still form of his Slayer. She seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Giles knew better.  
"Yes. It bothered me. I know how you feel about her and she about you. But that doesn't make it any easier. Perhaps I'm being selfish. But it's my responsibility to protect her. Do you understand that I do that willingly, not because it's my job?"  
"I understand. More than you realize," answered Angel. "But she was scared. Maybe my place was just closer at the time."  
They both knew that wasn't true.  
"Tell me again what she said to you. Before she passed out. I know you've told me three times..."  
"Four," corrected Angel.  
"Yes. Four times," continued Giles. "But tell me again. Maybe there's some detail that I've missed that could help her."  
Angel didn't argue.  
"She was running through the cemetery, chasing a vampire. She caught up to it but had to tackle it. It was a quick kill. She stood up and one of those nightmare demons practically ran into her. She thought it was another vampire. Of course, we didn't know it was a nightmare demon either until you researched what she said it looked like. And she didn't know that it was running away from another vampire. Instinct made her punch it. The demon bit her forearm as it tried to get away and she staked it. It was then she realized that it wasn't a vampire.  
"Buffy heard a cry of pain behind her. She said the other demon had such a look of anguish and pain on its face that she dropped her stake. Then the other vampire appeared. By the time she had killed it, the demon was gone. That's about it. Except for one thing."  
"Oh?," asked Giles.  
"Before she lost consciousness, she said to tell you that she was sorry that she had let you down. So Buffy may have come to me first, Giles. But her last thoughts were of her Watcher. Not me, not Joyce, not Willow. You."  
Giles looked back to Buffy. He stood and bit his lower lip.  
"Excuse me, Angel. I need to..."  
Giles left the room.)  
  
*****  
  
Willow felt her way along the tunnel. Her hand touched the metal rung of a ladder. She listened and heard nothing in the darkness but the sound of slowly running water. The rungs of the ladder were wet in the middle but dry towards either edge. Someone had recently gone up this way. Willow followed.  
Pushing a stone slab aside, Willow found herself in a large, dark room. It took a moment to realize that it was a crypt. And not ten feet from her was a body, lying atop a large cement box that obviously held a coffin or body. It was Ruth.  
Willow cautiously walked to her side. She didn't need to check for a pulse. She sensed it. Willow shook her shoulder but didn't call out her name, knowing Ruth couldn't hear her. Ruth suddenly opened her eyes as if she had been awoken from a deep sleep.  
"Willow! Where am I?"  
"Ruth? Is it you?," asked Willow.  
"Of course! What do you mean?," asked Ruth.  
"I think we're in a cemetery, a crypt. You don't remember how you got here?," asked Willow, helping her sit up.  
"No. I'm a little dizzy. What's going on?," Ruth, looking around.  
"I'll explain later. Why don't you try standing up? I want to get out of here," said Willow, looking for an exit. The was an iron gate on the other side of the room. Ruth slid off the tomb and turned to look where Willow was pointing.  
"Guess that's the way out," said Willow.  
"But that's not the way you came in," said Ruth. Willow tensed as she realized Ruth had her back to her and yet had heard Willow talk.   
"And how did you know that?," asked Willow.  
"Let's stop playing games," said Ruth, still not looking at Willow. "We both know that I'm not Ruth." The girl slowly turned to face Willow. "Just as we both know you're not really Willow."  
Willow stepped back as she saw that Kathy held a stake in her right hand. Kathy lunged forward but Willow easily grabbed her hand and realized that she was much stronger physically than the witch. Then she felt a sharp, searing pain on her right side. She looked down at the bloody knife Kathy held in her other hand. Willow's shirt was torn; the knife had cut through and left a deep gash along her ribs.  
Distracted by the pain, Willow's grip on Kathy loosened and the witch wrenched her hand free. She kicked Willow in the stomach and Willow doubled over. Kathy raised the stake over her head and drove it down at Willow's chest. Willow raised her left arm to block the blow and hit Kathy in the face with her other elbow, sending her stumbling backwards.  
They stood a few feet apart, glaring at one another. Willow held a hand to her side.  
"What's the matter? Didn't think you'd feel pain just because you're dead?," laughed Kathy. Willow answered by morphing her face into demon form.  
"Oh, I'm frightened now," taunted Kathy.  
"Ruth, I know you can hear me. Fight her! Fight for control!," yelled Willow.  
Kathy laughed as she raised her arms over her head. Too late did Willow understand the gesture. Kathy pointed both hands at Willow and she was flung back hard against the wall behind her. Willow slid down to the floor, stunned. Groggy, she opened one eye and thought she saw a figure walking slowly towards her.  
"You think you're only fighting a vampire?," asked Willow calmly, closing her eyes. Kathy froze. Behind her, on a shelf above her head, was a large stone urn. Kathy turned as she heard it move but was unable to duck her head in time as it came flying towards her. She crashed to the floor, a large gash opened on her forehead.  
Willow sprang up and pounced on the witch. She got in two good punches before Kathy grabbed her by the shoulders. Willow felt a surge of energy go through her like an electric shock. She rolled off of her, holding her sides and screaming in pain. Kathy stood and raised her hands above her head again.  
Just as she brought her arms down, Willow kicked out, hooking a foot behind Kathy's legs and knocking her off balance. Whatever energy had been directed at Willow instead smashed into the ceiling. Willow looked up in horror as a large stone support pillar came crashing down. She backpedaled but the pillar fell across her right leg. The pillar rested across a step in the floor, preventing her leg from being crushed, but her leg below the knee was pinned down. Willow cried out in pain.  
As the dust settled Kathy stood above Willow, stake once more in her right hand. Confident now of killing Willow, she knelt down and drove the stake down hard at Willow's heart. Kathy was quicker this time but Willow still was able to grab her wrist. Then Kathy touched Willow's shoulder with her other hand and she felt that electric pain starting again.   
Willow reached out with her other hand and grabbed Kathy by the throat. Kathy dropped the stake and with both hands tried to free herself from Willow's grip. Willow squeezed tighter. Kathy clawed at Willow's hand, drawing blood. She squeezed even harder, her demon eyes now full of hatred. Kathy pulled at Willow's hand and then her arms fell loose at her side. Still Willow held on.  
Suddenly a wind blew dust and debris around the room. Willow's head snapped back in horror as she realized what was happening. She let go of Kathy and she collapsed to the floor next to Willow. Willow grabbed her head with both hands.  
"No!," screamed Willow.  
The wind ceased. The crypt was quiet. Willow raised her head up and looked at Kathy. And she smiled. Resting on her elbows, Willow closed her eyes.  
"Xander. Hear me! Listen to my voice and you will be able to find me. Come to me now, Xander. I need you."  
Willow rested her head down on the cold floor. And she smiled to herself until she broke out in laughter.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy stopped walking and turned completely around. She sensed rather than saw that something was wrong, seemed out of place. The smell of the salt air was strong. It was quiet. She wasn't sure what had made her come here. Maybe just to see the place where the witch had last killed. Maybe to see if she would return to the scene of the crime. Buffy walked cautiously across the railroad tracks towards the warehouse.  
She slipped a hand around a stake. It gave her a sense of balance. Something to draw strength from. Buffy only walked a few more steps when she saw her. She knelt down beside her but there was no pulse. The girl was still warm. The vampire who did this had done it moments ago, in sight of the Slayer. Buffy got angry. Very angry.  
Tilting her head, Buffy listened intently, then sprang to her feet. She ran, not even sure if she had heard something. Just ahead was an empty boxcar, its doors open on one side. It sat alone on a side track. An unlit lantern was hanging from a hook by the door, swinging slightly back and forth. But there was no breeze.   
Buffy paused, standing at arm's length from the open doors. Again she thought she heard something, like the sound of someone walking on sand. And now she smelled lilacs! Shaking her head, she peered into the darkness of the boxcar.  
The vampire stood there, arms crossed, fully illuminated by the moonlight. Blood still trickled down the side of her mouth. She tilted her head and looked at Buffy as if she wanted to ask a question. Except for the ridge across the forehead and yellow feral eyes common to all vampires, the girl looked familiar. Too familiar.  
Buffy dropped her stake and stumbled backwards, falling on her butt. Her mouth opened in horror as she stared at herself, how she would look if dead. Like one of them.  
  
"Willow! Oh my god, are you hurt?," asked Xander, kneeling down beside Willow and putting his flashlight to one side so that it shone on her face.  
"Xander, you found me," answered Willow weakly. She tried to raise her head but didn't seem able to.  
"Willow, is Ruth..."  
"No, she's not dead. I won, Xander. I won!"  
"What do you mean?," asked Xander, putting his hand under Willow's neck and raising her head.  
"The witch. I beat her. I was strangling Ruth. I almost killed her. But I remembered that if the witch was driven from her body, it would go into the next closest body. And that's what happened. But guess what? I'm dead!"  
"And so is the witch! When it knew Ruth was about to die, it entered you. But didn't it know what you were?," asked Xander.  
"Yes. But I was its only hope, I guess. Xander, I don't feel so good," said Willow softly and wincing. Xander gently laid her head back down on the floor.  
"Willow, there's a lot of blood here. Too much. And I think it's all yours."  
Xander touched Willow's side and she moaned in pain. He slipped his shirt over her his head.  
"Willow, slide your shirt up."  
"Xander! What are you doing?"  
"Just a little bit, not all the way! I'm going to try to stop the bleeding."  
"Oh. Sorry."  
Willow raised her shirt up and saw the worried look on Xander's face.  
"That bad, huh?"  
Xander ignored her and pressed his shirt against the wound. Willow winced but didn't cry out.  
"Sorry you have to see my face this way," said Willow, not looking at Xander. "I tried, but I can't change it back."  
"Hey. I didn't even notice," said Xander, making Willow smile.  
"How's your leg?," asked Xander.  
"Oh, it feels kinda dead," said Willow, laughing. She stopped because it hurt.  
"That's not funny," said Xander.  
"No. It isn't."  
"So, how did you summon me? I mean, that was weird. It's not like I heard your voice, but somehow...I don't know. I just knew!"  
"My first summoning spell. I was always afraid to try it. You never know what you might summon. I finally had the confidence to try it after..."  
"Willow! Hey, are you falling asleep? Stay with me here," said Xander, raising his voice and still applying pressure to Willow's side. His shirt had already soaked through with blood.  
"Oh, sorry. I'm just so tired."  
"When was the last time you had something to eat?," asked Xander, trying to keep Willow talking so that she would stay awake.  
"Um, I don't know. What day is it?," asked Willow with a slurred voice.  
"It's early Sunday morning."  
"I think, maybe Friday. I don't remember."  
"Willow, try to keep your eyes open, okay? Talk to me. I think the bleeding has stopped."  
"Xander, can you move that thing on my leg?"  
Xander looked at the pillar and shook his head. He got up, straddled it and lifted. It didn't move.  
"Willow, how about a levitation spell. Are you up to it?," asked Xander hopefully.  
"No way. It's too big," said Willow, not even opening her eyes.  
"Hey, Yoda got that X-wing fighter out of the swamp, didn't he? That was much bigger than this!," encouraged Xander.  
"That was in the movies, Xander. This is real life."  
Xander got up and knelt back down beside Willow.  
"Willow, I'm getting concerned here. Big time."  
"It's okay. You know a vampire can't die this way."  
"No, but your body can't heal itself without help, either."  
"Huh?"  
"Willow, you need some blood. Not soon. Now!"  
"Xander, you can't mean what I think you mean," said Willow, her eyes wide open now. "I won't let you."  
"Will, there's no other way."  
"No!," yelled Willow, closing her eyes because of the effort it took to raise her voice. She opened them and Xander and her stared at one another. Willow reached out and touched Xander's hand.  
"Xander, I appreciate the offer. But we can't. It's too dangerous. And I know you're afraid of me."  
"No! I'm not afraid of you," said Xander, withdrawing his hand. "I'm afraid of the demon inside of you."  
Well, guess what? We're sort of a team now."  
"You couldn't control yourself?," pleaded Xander.  
Willow shook her head very slowly.  
"No. I know I couldn't. I'd lose control and you wouldn't be able to stop me."  
Xander ran his hands over his face.  
"Wait a minute," he said, picking up the flashlight and shining it around the room. The light reflected off of Ruth's knife. Xander put the flashlight down and ran over to the knife, picking it up. He slowly walked back and knelt down beside Willow.  
"Okay, here's what we're going to do. I have a cross in my back pocket. I'm going to cut my arm and let you drink. If you can't stop, I'll pull out the cross. Deal?"  
"Xander, you're so scared. Don't do this."  
"I'm not..."  
"I can hear your heartbeat. I know," said Willow.  
"Willow, just this once, let me be the hero. I want to do this. If I'm scared it's because I don't want to lose my best friend. Again."  
"Okay. Let's do it. But get a good grip on that cross. Don't let me knock it out of your hand."  
Xander nodded.  
"And you'd better rip off a piece of my shirt."  
"Huh?"  
"You'll need a rag to hold against your arm. To stop the bleeding? Your shirt has my blood on it. I don't think it should come in contact with your open wound. Understand why?"  
"Right. Why take the chance?," agreed Xander. He gripped Willow's shirt where it was already torn and pulled, exposing Willow's stomach.  
"Hey, you look good in a tube top! I hear they're back in style," said Xander. Willow could only shake her head and smile.  
"And Xander, if it helps, I'm scared too. I don't want to hurt you."  
Xander bent down and kissed Willow's forehead. Quickly he sat up and flicked the knife over his forearm. The knife was sharp and cut deeper than he had anticipated. Xander winced in pain. He placed his right arm under Willow's head and tilted it forward.  
Willow looked Xander in the eye and gave him a smile. She mouthed the words 'thank you' but no sound came out. He placed his arm against her mouth and Willow closed her eyes.  
At first she sucked slowly. Xander felt a burning discomfort and he tried to relax by breathing slowly. A chill ran through him and he felt a trickle of sweat drip down across his face. Then Willow bit into his arm, causing him to inhale sharply but he didn't try to pull his arm away. He reached into his back pocket and gripped the cross.  
Xander bit into his lower lip, drawing blood. How long should he let this go on? He thought his nose felt tingly. His grip on the cross loosened and he realized he was getting light headed.  
"Willow," he called softly. "Willow!"  
If she heard him he couldn't tell. Xander tried to pull his arm away but Willow grabbed it firmly in her hand.  
"Willow!"  
Xander brought the cross around from behind his back and held it up. Willow let go of his arm, glared at him and hissed, fangs bared, eyes wide open in mad fury. He looked into those soulless eyes and was so frightened he dropped the cross. A change seemed to overcome Willow. She let go of his arm and Xander collapsed to the floor.  
"Xander!," screamed Willow, her face morphing back to her human form. "Xander!" She sat up and shook him, looking at his arm which still bled freely. She grabbed the fabric that Xander had torn from her shirt and held it to his arm, pressing down hard.  
"Hey! Wake up! Don't do this to me, Xander. Come on, now," cried Willow, getting scared. "Xander, please."  
Xander opened his eyes.  
"Willow. It's you," he said, very softly. Willow smiled and pulled him up to hug him.  
"Thank god," she whispered. "Xander, here, hold this on your arm. Press down hard. Okay?" Xander nodded. He put his hand over the bloody shirt and Willow put her hand over his, pressing down.  
They didn't speak for some time. Willow rested her head on his shoulder and listened to him breath.  
"Xander, you'll never understand this because you saw me for what I really am. But I saw how scared you were and I won. Again! I had control over the demon. I could've killed you. Hell, I wanted to. But I didn't," said Willow, lifting her head from his shoulder. "You got through to me. And unless you were like me, you can never understand what that means."  
Xander smiled at her but looked very pale. Willow lifted his hand and examined the wound. It was still bleeding.  
"Xander, you have to get to a hospital. You need some stitches on this. The cut is too deep." Willow pressed down on the wound with the now red fabric but with her hand only this time. Xander looked at his right hand, now covered in blood.  
"Will, how about a healing spell?"  
"It won't work fast enough. Something like that only helps the healing process. It's almost dawn. I don't think that you should leave until then," said Willow, looking at him. Her face was very close to his.  
"Willow, I don't know if I can wait that long. I feel very dizzy."  
"Fifteen more minutes then. It won't be light out yet, but most vampires will have found shelter by then. We are in a graveyard, you know," reminded Willow.  
"I'll be alright. We have to get help. Get that pillar off your leg."  
"Xander, you wouldn't be able to fight back if something was out there."  
"I'll take the cross. Where is it?," asked Xander, looking around them.  
"Behind you, to your right. Oh, I don't have to see it to know where it is. Here, put pressure on this," said Willow, placing his hand on the wet cloth. Xander crawled over to the cross and picked it up, then staggered to his feet.  
"Xander, please wait. Just a little while longer. I had a cross with me the night I died, remember? I have a bad feeling about this," said Willow nervously.  
"I don't think I have a choice, Will. I don't feel so good. I'll be careful."  
Willow looked at Xander, saw how unsteady he was on his feet  
"Be quick instead."  
Willow closed her eyes and listened as Xander stumbled out of the crypt. She was very tired. Running a hand over her ribs, she was amazed that the skin had already closed over. Then she became aware that someone else was in here with her.  
"Xander?"  
It wasn't Xander. This one didn't have a heartbeat.  
"Spike! You're out awfully late, aren't you?," asked Willow nervously.  
"Yes. I can't explain it, either," said Spike, taking a drag from his cigarette. "I had this feeling that I should be here. Place could use a little fixing up. It was as if someone had used a summoning spell and had been thinking about me at the time."  
"Oh."  
"Well, Red. What do we have here?"  
"You know, you shouldn't smoke so much," said Willow, trying to buy time so Xander could get away.  
"Yeah, it's killing me," replied Spike deadpan. "Besides, I always smoke after a kill."  
"A kill?"  
"Just finishing your leftovers."  
"Xander! No!," cried Willow, sitting up.  
"It wasn't nice of me to stand you up tonight. But then again, that's one difference between you and I. I'm not nice. Oh, please! Don't give me that look! Don't you think that I caught on to your act? You and Angel both make me want to retch. Vampires with souls! But, still, you are one of us. So I'd like to welcome you to the club in my own way."  
"What do you mean?," asked Willow, no longer hiding her fear.  
"I'm going to lift this off of you. And then you have a decision to make. And you'd better hurry, because you only have a few minutes."  
"To do what?," demanded Willow.  
"That's the spirit. To decide whether your friend Xander becomes like you. I mean, you and Angel. Or you can watch and let him die. Or you can fight me and not watch him die. Now I like a good row as much as the next bloke, but you're not up to par tonight, so I wouldn't recommend it. Any way you cut it, it's your choice," smiled Spike.  
Spike bent down and easily lifted the pillar off Willow's leg. She quickly slid it out and tried to stand but found she couldn't put any weight on it. She looked Spike square in the eye and spit in his face.  
"This isn't over," growled Willow, once again in full vamp face. Spike laughed and wiped his face as she limped away.  
Xander's body was lying face down outside the open gate of the crypt. Willow fell down beside him and rolled him over. There were two puncture wounds on his throat but he wasn't bleeding from either that wound or his arm. He had a pulse but Willow knew that it was very weak.  
"Xander, can you hear me? Xander!," cried Willow, shaking him by the shoulders. "Xander, no. This isn't fair! Xander, please! I don't know what to do! Don't make decide this alone. Please, Xander, wake up!"  
Willow lifted him gently and held him.  
"Xander, please help me," whispered Willow. "I can't choose...I don't know what you would want. I can't lose you after all this...please, Xander, hear me," whimpered Willow, tears rolling down her cheeks.  
She rested her head against his neck and sobbed. It took a moment or so before she realized how close her mouth was to his neck. She lifted her head, looked at Xander, and knew what she had to do.  
  
*****  
  
"Willow! No!," screamed Buffy, sitting up in her hospital bed.   
"Buffy! You're awake!," said Xander, rising from his chair where he had dozed off. He leaned towards Buffy, smiling. And she promptly hit him with a roundhouse right to the face. Xander collapsed to the floor, out cold.  
"Why didn't you listen to Willow!?," screamed Buffy. "Hey, wait a minute. Where am I?"  
Just then Willow ran into the room.  
"Buffy! You're...Xander!"  
Buffy gave her friend a very embarrassed smile.  
"Oops?," said Buffy.  
"Well, it's good to see you're feeling better!," admonished Willow, hands on her hips.  
  
End Of PART FIVE  
  
PART SIX  
  
The young woman sitting on the end of Buffy's bed looked to be in her early twenties. She was two or three inches taller than Buffy, wore dark sunglasses and had an auburn ponytail pulled through the back of the baseball cap she was wearing.  
"So you're a Nightmare demon," said Buffy.  
"Human words. Not mine. Actually I never liked that name. You can call me Maggie."  
"Maggie," repeated Buffy, smiling. "That's not so terrifying."  
Now Maggie smiled. "Sorry there's no fangs or talons. But what you see is what you get."  
"That's an understatement if I ever heard one," answered Buffy.  
"Perhaps."  
"Perhaps? You're not English, are you? My Watcher says that a lot."  
"Been there, but no. I'm not English."  
"So, is this part of my nightmare or am I awake now?," asked Buffy.  
"No, you're awake. We have maybe fifteen minutes to be alone and talk. No one should come in. They'll either forget why they were coming here or suddenly get the feeling that they really don't want to be here. It would take a very strong spirit to enter this room now."  
"You cast a spell?"  
"No. It's just my influence here," replied Maggie modestly. "Before I go I'll try to explain what you experienced. Yes, I am a demon. But my kind are a very peaceful race."  
Buffy frowned.  
"Slayer, your life was never at risk. Nor is it now. It's not our way."   
"Then what did you do to me? That was more than a dream! I felt the sun on my skin, I smelled the salt air, I...it was real!"  
"It was a gift, from me to you," said Maggie, her tone serious.  
"A gift? Next time say it with flowers," replied Buffy coldly.  
"Not all demons are evil. You know that. Most are, yes, but there must be a balance in nature. Without evil there can be no good."  
"So you're good?," asked Buffy.  
"Indifferent might be a better word," suggested Maggie.  
"Hi, I'm Maggie the indifferent Nightmare demon! That's one I haven't heard before," laughed Buffy. Even Maggie smiled.  
"We observe but we don't interact. Everything in nature is in balance. When the balance of power shifts, when evil becomes stronger than good, we are drawn to it. Sometimes we can influence people or demons and in so doing change events. Restore balance."  
"And if good gets stronger than evil?," asked Buffy.  
"Very clever. Yes, though you will not understand why, we would be drawn there as well. That is our way. Balance, while not perfection, is peaceful. Of course, that's a very simplistic explanation. It's much more complicated than that."  
"Fine. But let's get back to this gift thing," said Buffy.  
"Okay. One thing that is fascinating about humans is that to gain wisdom you have to give up the gift of seeing things for the first time, of new experiences, of the simple wonder of it all."  
"Youth is wasted on the young?," asked Buffy, not convinced.  
"A cliche, yes. But there is truth in that. You don't understand your influence on others or the lasting effect they have on you. A simple hello. Now that's power. And Slayers don't live long enough to gain wisdom. In fact you, more so than other humans, can become very numb to your gift, blind because of all the death that you see."  
"And cause," added Buffy.  
"Maybe I have failed you. Perhaps I should have shown you a rerun of 'It's A Wonderful Life'."  
"No. I think we understand one another more than you realize," agreed Buffy sadly.  
"I hope so. It's like speaking another language, trying to make you understand. The meaning of the words, or images, gets lost in the translation. If your loved ones feared for you, maybe now, at least for a short time, they may appreciate the gifts that they have."  
"I'm sorry I killed your...boyfriend? Husband? It was an accident," said Buffy sincerely.  
"Mate. I know. It was done without malice."  
"So what happens now?," asked Buffy.  
"I die."  
"What!? Why? I don't understand. You're not hurt."  
"No, you're wrong. I'm very weak. In fact, I couldn't have kept up your dream for much longer. You see, when our kind chooses a mate, it is for life. The bond between us is so strong that whatever happens to one, happens to the other. I've seen it among humans, as well. An old couple is married for fifty or sixty years. Then one dies and the other passes on a few weeks later. I believe your expression for it is a broken heart," said Maggie.  
"I'm so sorry. There's nothing I can do?," asked Buffy. Maggie shook her head.  
"How long?," asked Buffy, softly.  
"A day. Maybe less."  
"It's not fair," said Buffy, sounding childish.  
"Everything dies, Buffy. Nature in balance."  
Buffy was shocked at how deeply grateful she felt because Maggie had called her by her name.  
"How old are you?," asked Buffy, trying to make their talk a little more lighthearted.  
"Buffy! You know a girl never talks about her age," smiled Maggie. "It's time that I go."  
"But, wait! I have so many questions. Like, why did I see myself in that boxcar? What did Willow decide to do for Xander? Why do you wear glasses?," asked Buffy desperately.  
Maggie stood but had to steady herself for a moment. She lowered her glasses and Buffy saw that she had very dark circles under her eyes.  
"It isn't much. In fact, we can move freely among you and blend in. More so than other demons, anyway. You'll have to ponder why you saw what you did. I can't answer that for you. And as for what became of Xander, why don't you ask Willow that herself? Here she is now," finished Maggie as Willow walked into the room.  
"Hi. Oh, am I interrupting something?," asked Willow.  
"No, not at all. I was just leaving. It was nice to meet you, Willow. I'm very impressed that you're here," said Maggie. She turned and smiled at Buffy. "Be happy, Buffy." Then, bowing slightly, she turned and left.  
"Do I know her?," asked Willow.  
"No. She's nice, though. You'd like her. She knows how to get the most out of life."  
"So, how are you feeling?," asked Willow, slinging her bag down on the bed.  
"Great. I'll be out of here this afternoon. Let's see. You have your bathing suit on under your clothes, a straw hat on, a beach bag and a radio. Little cool yet for the beach, isn't it?," asked Buffy.  
"After the story you told me? I'm taking Oz to the beach, sunburn be damned! I have this sudden need to be in warm sunlight. I'm really not a night person, you know?"  
Buffy laughed.  
"Maybe you should check the weather on the radio before you go," suggested Buffy.  
"Good idea," agreed Willow. She clicked on the radio that was on the bed next to her bag.  
"And here's a blast from your past, a song from the summer of '75..."  
Willow clicked off the radio.  
"Hey, I liked that song. Wasn't it about a horse?," asked Buffy, trying not to smile.  
"Hello. Summer of '75? How can you not be wigged by that? And yes, I think the horse dies," complained Willow. "Leaving now," said Willow, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "Oh! Now why did I say that? Isn't that what that other Willow used to say?"  
"You mean the one who liked leather?," asked Buffy.  
"You know who."  
"Willow, get Oz, go to the beach and have fun. Now! I'll see you tonight. At the Bronze."  
"Okay," said Willow, picking up her things. "You don't need anything?"  
"Nope. I'm fine."  
"See you tonight, then," said Willow, walking to the door.  
"Oh, Willow?"  
"Yes, Buffy?"  
"I love you."  
Willow smiled a very big smile.  
"I love you too."  
  
*****  
  
"How does she do that?," asked Buffy.  
"You mean Ruth?," asked Willow. The Bronze was crowded tonight and for a change the band was good.  
"Yes. The dancing. I mean, she's good!"  
"She feels the beat through the vibrations in the floor," answered Willow, who turned and smiled at Oz. She reached over and held his hand.  
"Maybe Xander should listen to his feet!," giggled Buffy.  
"Hey! No Xander bashing tonight. He's still upset, you know," said Willow.  
"Upset? Willow, he's not speaking to me!"  
"Give him some space. He's just being Xander," said Willow.  
"Didn't you explain to him about the dream and everything?," asked Buffy.  
"Twice. I think you hurt his feelings more than his face. Then again..."  
"Willow! I told him how sorry I was."  
"Buffy, he was the only one who never left the hospital. I had to help Giles with the research and the spell thingy. Angel, well, you know. Sunlight? Even you're mother went home for a few hours of sleep because Xander insisted on it," said Willow, putting her arm around Oz.  
"Guess I have some major groveling to do," sighed Buffy. "Hey, you two want to get a room?"  
"Don't mind her. She's been all clingy since you told her about your dream," explained Oz.  
"Oh. Understandable," agreed Buffy. "Hey, maybe I should ask Xander to dance?"  
Willow gave Buffy her wide-eyed 'you sure that's a good idea' stare.  
"Willow, that was over a year ago! Can we move on, please? I think he's over that."  
Willow lowered her head and raised her eyebrows.  
"Okay, okay!"  
"I only meant that you might hurt Ruth's feelings if you cut in. She's having a good time," said Willow.  
"Sure you did," protested Buffy.  
"Buffy, something's bothering me about your dream," said Willow.  
"What? Other than the whole thing, that is."  
"I never told you about playing hide and seek with Xander when I was a kid. Did he?"  
"Actually, no."  
"I didn't think so. Okay, getting spooked again," said Willow, squeezing Oz a little tighter. He responded by kissing her cheek.  
"And I haven't been able to find my silver cross," said Buffy.  
"Oh! The one you lost in Miller's Woods? In your dream?," asked Willow.  
"Willow, I'm sure I just misplaced it."  
"We could look for it out where...," began Oz.  
"No!," said Willow and Buffy at the same time.  
Buffy took a sip of her soda.  
"Willow, you haven't told me what you would've done. To Xander, I mean. In the dream," said Buffy.  
"I know what you mean."  
"Well?"  
"Buffy, I can't talk about. It's just...not yet."  
"But...did you at least decide, one way or another?," asked Buffy.  
Willow nodded. "But I'm just not ready to talk about yet. Maybe you and I can sit outside somewhere, in the warm sunlight, sometime, and tackle this. Soon."  
"Good. And what about my decision? What I did to you?"  
"I told you, I understand. I'm good with it," smiled Willow. Buffy smiled back.  
Ruth caught Willow's eye and waved. Willow waved back and signed a few words.  
"Will, that was great! What did you say to her?," asked Buffy.  
"I told her I liked what she was wearing. Actually, I think I told her she was hot," frowned Willow.  
"Really? You're not hitting on her, are you?," teased Buffy.  
"What? I...no! Buffy! Xander asked the same...or, let's not go there!"  
"I'm just kidding!," said Buffy. Even Oz smiled.  
"Buffy, I told her she looked hot!"  
"Willow, just because you said that..."  
"No, you don't understand. Ruth never taught me how to sign that. So how did I know how to say it?," asked Willow with a confused look on her face. Buffy looked at Willow, then Oz, then stared back at Willow.  
"Oz, you busy tomorrow?," asked Buffy.  
"Not particularly. Why?"  
"I want you to help Willow and I look for a silver cross in Miller's Woods."  
  
End Of PART SIX  
  
PART SEVEN  
  
Xander's body was lying face down outside the open gate of the crypt. Willow fell down beside him and rolled him over. There were two puncture wounds on his throat but he wasn't bleeding from either that wound or his arm. He had a pulse but Willow knew that it was very weak.  
"Xander, can you hear me? Xander!," cried Willow, shaking him by the shoulders. "Xander, no. This isn't fair! Xander, please! I don't know what to do! Don't make me decide this alone. Please, Xander, wake up!"  
Willow lifted him gently and held him.  
"Xander, please help me," whispered Willow. "I can't choose...I don't know what you would want. I can't loose you after all this...please, Xander, hear me," whimpered Willow, tears rolling down her cheeks.  
She rested her head against his neck and sobbed. It took a moment or so before she realized how close her mouth was to his neck. She lifted her head, looked at Xander, and knew what she had to do.  
Willow tried to stand but found that she still couldn't put weight on her right leg. She let Xander down gently, laying him on his back. Crawling behind him, she slipped her right arm under his right arm and around his chest. Willow dragged him back into the crypt and kicked the iron gate shut behind them. She pulled him inside a little further to be sure that the rising sun wouldn't bother them later. Sniffing at the air, animal-like, she sensed that Spike had left.  
Instinct was taking over. Willow didn't have to remember what Angel had done to her. She looked at Xander one last time, softly pushing his hair back off his forehead and leaving her hand there against his face for a moment. Leaning over him, she brushed her lips against his neck. A chill ran through her as instinct once again guided her, moving her mouth away from where spike had bitten him. Willow's fangs slid gently into Xander, piercing his skin. His body tensed but he didn't cry out.  
Her tongue rolled across his skin and rubbed against her teeth. She fought the urge to penetrate him further and lapped up the first drops of sweet warm liquid. The blood flowed more freely now and Willow moaned as she swallowed, her insides warming and increasing her desire.  
While she still could, Willow pulled away. Again she looked at Xander. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Willow understood that she had just made a connection with him that she would never be able to explain to Buffy. She had become one with him and she would be able to smell the scent of his blood if he was anywhere nearby. She could single him out of a crowded room with her eyes closed. Once more she touched his hair.  
"Just a little longer, Xander," whispered Willow. "If I look half as bad as you do, I must look like...well...like death warmed over," laughed Willow softly, smiling at her own joke.  
Not wanting to waste time looking for the cold knife that lie somewhere on the floor behind her, Willow raised her left forearm to her mouth and bit deeply. She tilted Xander's head far back, opening up his throat. Placing her open wound against his mouth, she massaged his throat with her right hand and kissed Xander on the forehead.  
Nothing seemed to be happening. Confused, Willow knitted her eyebrows together. She pulled her arm away and rubbed his throat with both hands, her blood dripping on the floor next to them.   
"Xander?," whispered Willow. "Xander, what's wrong? Did I wait too long? Xander!"  
Willow stopped massaging his neck and sat up, slowly raising her hands to cover her mouth. She felt the first tears beginning to form at the corners of her eyes. Suddenly Xander's eyes sprang open. Startled, Willow jumped.  
"Xander! Xander, can you hear me? Hey! It's me. Willow."  
Xander looked at her but didn't seem to focus on her face. He opened his mouth as if he was going to speak but then grabbed in sides in pain, clenching his teeth. Closing his eyes, Xander's body shuddered, his muscles convulsing horribly. He never cried out. After another spasm or two he lie still, his face turned away from Willow at an odd angle. Willow didn't have to feel for a pulse. She could sense that he was dead.  
"Xander! Oh god, what have I done!?," screamed Willow.  
  
*****  
  
"Willow! No!," screamed Buffy, sitting up in her bed. She knew immediately where she was but didn't understand what had happened. Buffy reached out for her stuffed pig, clutched it tightly, brought her knees up to her chest and rocked herself back and forth.  
"Buffy! What's wrong?," yelled Joyce, bursting into her daughter's bedroom. She froze as she looked into Buffy's eyes. She couldn't remember seeing Buffy look that scared and helpless in a long time. It was a side of her daughter not open to Joyce anymore.  
Buffy's lower lip trembled. Joyce sat down next to her and hugged her. Buffy threw her arms around her mother and started crying, her face buried in her shoulder.   
"Oh, honey. It was only a nightmare. It's okay. It's over now and soon you'll forget all about it," soothed Joyce.  
"No. It isn't over. It's still happening," mumbled Buffy, not looking up.  
"Buffy, you know what Mr. Giles said. As Maggie grows weaker she may lose control over her powers. He told you it was possible to have another vision or two until she was dead."  
Joyce pulled back from Buffy and held her head in her hands.  
"I know they seem real, especially now. In the morning you'll feel better about this. I promise," said Joyce. Buffy nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes. Her mother kissed her forehead, smiled and got up.  
"Why don't you leave a light on?," suggested Joyce.  
"No. I'll be fine. Good night."  
"Good night."  
Buffy took a deep breath. She felt cold and noticed that she had left her window open. A slight breeze was moving the curtains so she slid off the bed to shut the window. Buffy hadn't taken more than two steps and when she froze, her body tense. She fought the urge to cry out.  
It was lying on the floor as if someone had tossed it through the open window. There was dried mud caked on its edges and two of the arms were bent as if it had been violently stepped on. But there was no mistaking it. Buffy was looking at the cross she had lost in Miller's Woods.  
  
The End   
  
  
  



End file.
